Pop Culture Vixens

2009-03-15T20:12:00.005-05:00

Due to the economy hitting me hard below the belt (in the wallet, specifically), I haven't been keeping my finger on the pulse of what's been going on around here socially or culturally, even. In fact, I haven't really left the house much.

However, one thing that I'm learning that anyone can do in her own back yard is plant a garden. And growing ones own vegetables is a good way to beat rising grocery prices, AND get healthy. It's also a fun and meditative activity. I've also bonded with some old friends via facebook in our discussions about gardening.

Another plus, it's the one physical activity that gets my mother off the couch (I think she's depressed a lot). It's good exercise, and soon my fella and I are going to prepare a garden space for his mother so she can get some sunshine and physical activity.

Here are two Oklahoma web sites on gardening that I really like. I've been known to become intimidated by the lights, tools, supplies, frames, edging etc. gardeners use, as I have very little to spend on my garden. I don't let that stop me, though: if gardening wasn't easy enough for anyone, our species wouldn't have survived this long.

Wisdom of the Trowel
http://wisdom-of-the-trowel.blogspot.com/

Oklavore
http://oklavore.com/

Personally, I'm discovering that my aversion to food as a young adult was really just an aversion to salt, meat and grease. I found that I love dishes with interesting flavor combinations. I never thought I could cook, until I bought my house. Now I'm in my sunny kitchen all the time, sampling, smelling, testing, drying or freezing. This is another reason why I can't wait to have my own vegetable garden...all the freshness and taste combinations.

Also, a cookbook that I really like is called The New Laurel's Kitchen: a Handbook for Vegetarian Cookery and Nutrition. It's organized by vegetable, and not only lists recipes, but also says how you can cook a vegetable to best retain its nutrients, as well as naming the vegetable's nutrients.

Another new thing for me is making a compost bin. Since I use a lot of vegetables, grains and tea in my in diet, I have a lot of good stuff left over that I don't want to just throw in the trash. I got this $15 32 gallon trash can with lid at Home Depot. I drilled holes in the sides and the bottom. I filled it halfway with alternating layers of cheap gardening soil, dry crushed leaves from the lawn and organic refuse from the kitchen. I have a little spatula next to the compost pile so when I add stuff, I can stir the mixture around. When it's done, I'll have some nice rich soil for gardening that my veggies and flowers will love!

God Hates Bigoted Cult Members

2009-03-10T23:55:00.005-05:00

We had a little excitement in OKC last week. Fred Phelp's crazies came to see us. They protested outside of the Capitol building because the state senate had the audacity to allow a gay man, a state representative, to read a prayer. The horror. Thank Gawd we have these holy warriors to come and spread their own special brand of irrational hatred. Chutah and I came up with a fun little 'shop of their picture that appeared in the local news.

This was a direct result of an email exchange wondering what kind of life that little boy in the center of the picture is living, and if it isn't enough for him to be removed from that kind of horrifying existence.

My favorite part of their visit, though, is that the Westboro "Church" randomly chose Moore High School for a second protest in the region. They had posted on their web page that Moore High was full of "violent brats" and "sluts." As far as I know, these kids aren't any more violent or slutty than any other high school in the region or state. The really awesome thing about this portion of the protest is that local bikers reached out to other bikers and they formed a counter-protest. These bad ass bikers situated themselves across from the Jesus-freakery to protect the students and community from the notorious faggotry of Westboro. In addition to the bikers, veterans came out to protest, and high school students stood up for their school and their classmates. Throughout the city, churches held prayer vigils to remind their faithful and everyone else that religion is not all extremist and cultish.

I would have preferred the local religious community made their presence known at the counter-protest, but the fact that all different segments of the community pulled together to oppose the nutjobs gave me the warm fuzzies. With the attention given to these extreme groups, it's easy to forget that most people are decent and are willing to stand up for what's right and rational.

Oklahoma's State Rock Song

2009-03-02T19:14:00.007-06:00

Today the Flaming Lips' song "Do You Realize" became Oklahoma's official state rock song. The promotion was done with a collaboration between the Oklahoma Film and Music Office and the Oklahoma History Center. And actually, it looks like there will be an exhibit opening at the Oklahoma History Center about the history of Rock and Roll in Oklahoma in May 2009. Go here to learn more: www.anotherhotoklahomanight.org

When I got home from work today, I saw a few of my friends on facebook put up new pictures of them with the 'Lips. In the spirit of the day, I put on my favorite Flaming Lips album At War with the Mystics.

My appreciation for Wayne Coyne grows exponentially as I get older. Despite his world fame, he still stays in Oklahoma, and continues his active roll in leading the next generation into creative, energetic and optimistic community leadership. Listening to At War with the Mystics tonight, in honor of their new official status, made me feel hopeful that it's a reflection that things are going to get better in our state. It makes me proud to be a part of that change, and gives me some resiliance against the critics who weren't able to make changes because they were shot down in the past.

It's important to be aware of the inspiration that keeps us moving. We're all in this together, and we want to make our state a great place to live for EVERYONE!

Nicknames...on my mind

2009-02-25T17:31:00.003-06:00

This may not be of any kind of intellectual topic but it is on my mine...

I understand why people get them. Shortening names to Jen, Tim, or initials makes it easier for kids to spell and say. But what drives me is when people go by their middle names. Why don’t you just go by what you are named? Do you hate your first name so much that you don’t go by it? Why did your parents name you something you don’t go by? Who the hell started calling you by your middle name?

My cousin goes by C. Ed on documents. When he was born, my aunt asked my husband what he wanted to name his son. He said, “I don’t care what you name him, but I am going to call him Eddy." So, what did his my aunt do? Named him Charles Edward so on all of his official documents, he is C. Ed.

It is the dumbest thing I have ever heard of in my life and I have to be related to them...

I work with 2 people like that…I work with Susan but her real first name is Barbara and John whose real first name is William…so all of their official documents are under. *Susan* has the nerve to get mad when slip up and call her Barbara. Sigh…please, people, just name them what you are going to call them.

Books..

2009-02-24T23:18:00.001-06:00

You know books that change your viewpoint of everyday life? Well, "The
Reader" by Bernard Schlink did just that...

It was reminiscent to me of "Angela's Ashes"...they way I actually felt
hungry while reading it because people were starving.

I initially picked it up at the library book sale on Friday night for
.50 cents in the non-collection, overpriced area of the Annual Library
book sale of book seekers, body to body, like Mardi Gras on Bourbon
Street in New Orleans. I picked it up last night before I went to bed
and finished it during my lunch hour to day. It was just that powerful
and unlike any book I have ever read. A very fast read, like "Angela's
Ashes". I see it a book that will be required reading in the years to
come. It was an Oprah book club pick...I am usually disappointed in her
selections and pleasantly surprised she picked something like this.

I only wanted to read it so I could compare Kate Winslet's character in
her Oscar Winning Role and extremely satisfied that I did. I cannot
wait to see the movie tonight and pray they did the book justice!

It was worth every penny of the .50 cents I paid for it.

Gin and Generic Juice

2009-02-23T07:38:00.001-06:00

Must blog more. I know. It’s getting pretty bad.

So today, on NPR, I heard a story about the packaging of Tropicana. They explained that the usual packaging of the orange juice features an orange with a straw in it, and they had changed it to have a glass of juice that wrapped around the side of the carton.

They are changing the package back next month due to customer complaints. According to the report, customers complained it made the package look “generic.” This brings to mind a couple of points.

One, what’s the problem if it looks generic? You know what you’re going after, and once you locate the new generic-looking package, you put it in the cart. I’m imagining a bunch of blue hairs in designer track suits suffering from mortification that another blue hair in a designer track suit say her buying GENERIC JUICE. What a travesty.

Two, who actually calls and writes these manufacturers to complain about stuff like this. If I see that the packaging for a product has changed, I just think “different” and move on. I don’t spend hours in the grocery store developing a critical analysis of this packaging as compared to the previous packaging. I do not have a deep, spiritual bond with the packaging for my products. There are not enough hours in the day already without spending time analyzing juice boxes.

If Valentines Day Cards told the Truth

2009-02-16T09:52:00.004-06:00

I got this from my friend....who was recently jilted by his fiance.

If Valentine's Day Cards Told The Truth
By CRACKED Readers

Men and women tell each other that honesty is the most important part of a relationship, which is itself a lie. Men want their wife to tell them she's never been with a lover who rocked her world quite so violently. Women want their husband to tell them ... whatever the hell it is women want to hear.

We asked you to use our article from a few years back as inspiration, and show us what Valentine's Day Cards would look like if they were actually honest.

Mame's House

2009-02-12T08:30:00.001-06:00

Chutah took me to a small town hippie artist commune last week. She takes me to the best places. It was very interesting; a group of artists living together and sharing a house. Then they vote someone off. Just kidding. They saw a lack in their community, and decided to bridge the gap by hosting a get-together every week.

Their description of the night’s upcoming events reminded me of the zaniness of Auntie Mame. They do art related stuff when they get together, but usually nothing structured. If someone wants to play music they do so (and I think they had enough guitars to cover everyone if it was a sing-a-long), or they might paint, or do a craft, or even cook if the mood takes them. Mame would have fit in well. They were incredibly gracious and welcoming people, sharing their work with us, and inviting us to participate in everything from the projects to the drinking and making of quesadillas.

I didn’t feel my usual nervousness with them; I was there for business, so business mode was on. But there were actors there. Talking to them was like getting to speak your native language in a foreign country. Oddly, not many women talked to me. I don’t know what that means.

Everyone was excited about one guy coming to the gathering, and it seemed everyone made a point to tell us about him and how they didn’t think he could make it. He did make it. This may not seem especially crucial, but the thing was, when he came in the door, I could tell why he was so important to the group. After talking to him for about 30 seconds, I felt a connection. I wanted to talk to him more. It was so strange. I can’t remember the last time I was that interested in someone upon the first meeting. He wasn’t really remarkable in any way, but somehow, he was the most interesting person there.

We were invited back, and with our new project, we’re probably going to be spending some time with them over the next few months. I think I need to go back for art night at the hippie commune; I need to speak my native language.

This Kid: Totally Not Being Forced Into the Child Pageant Circuit

2009-02-04T21:43:00.003-06:00

You have to go to the link to see the whole thing with pictures....excruciating, hilarious. My stomach actually lurched at the part about the "DIY fake tan."

***************************

On last night's episode of Toddlers & Tiaras, we got to learn the difference between "glitz" and "natural," and were once again assured that pageant kids participate because they want to.

This particular pageant was "conservative," and more about "natural" girls than "glitz" girls. There was still a swimwear portion, and an evening gown portion. The only real difference seemed to be the absence of false eyelashes. The episode focused on three contestants:

Kayleigh, 6

Story, 5

And Marleigh, 2

Kayleigh is a "natural" pageant girl, and she doesn't wear any makeup. She has two moms.

She kept referring to her as "our" kid. Case in point, "Because we didn't do pageants, I didn't think any of our kids would."

Story is a pro. She was born for this, since that's the only explanation as to why her mother gave her such a name. She's "glitz," and she knows what she's doing, even though she admits that she doesn't "like smiling too much." She's won tons of crowns, sashes and trophies, the latter of which she plays with like they're Barbies. This scene showed her in the act, saying, "Hey sister, do you wanna have some cookies?"

Story's older brother is involved in her training, and scores her rehearsals in his poetically titled, "Story Report."

Unlike his attitude toward correct spelling, he takes these sessions very seriously. "She looked like she was actually real mad. That's what I wrote down on 'beauty.' And she was looking at the board. I know that. She was looking at the board."

Marleigh is a different story. (Ha, "story.")

Her mother, though eternally optimistic, is in complete denial about her daughter's enthusiasm for this.

Still, she puts a lot of effort into her 2-year-old's success, and even gives her DIY fake tans.

She also involves the family pet in her torture methods primping, in a desperate attempt to normalize the process for Marleigh. Like, "See, don't you want to be pretty like a dog, Marleigh?"

This method of conditioning is flawed, though, as it appears that Marleigh doesn't just want to look like a glitz dog, she wants to behave like one, too.

Her mom kept saying things during Marleigh's perpetual tantrum like, "She really turns it on when she gets on the stage." Which just seemed ridiculous as the child was sobbing as her name was being called.

But it turns out her mom was totally right. The minute she stepped into the light she started laughing and charming the crowd.

Story, on the other hand, moves like an android who was programmed to swing her arms while walking just like humans do.

I think they sell her in Japan.

If you get two, you can make them have some cookies.

So the main thing here was Glitz vs. Natural. There were no specific rules for the pageant, so there were examples of both. As ethically superior as Kayleigh's two moms felt they were by not putting makeup on their daughter, they still strong-armed her into wearing uncomfortable, expensive gowns like any other Glitz family, despite her protests.

See, moms, this is what you get when you raise your 6-year-old to trade in makeup for sensible shoes. She starts valuing function and thinking for herself, attitudes that are detrimental in the pageant world.

In the end, 2-year-old Marleigh only got 2nd runner up. There were only three contestants in her age group.

And Story beat out Kayleigh for the crown in their age division.

OR DID SHE?

There was a mistake with the scoring, so they actually bothered to dethrone a 5-year-old, and hold a re-crowning ceremony that only Kayleigh's family attended.

There was frost on the ground, but a jacket would've covered up her "natural" look.

awesome art program online

2009-01-30T21:20:00.005-06:00

fun to play with, I made this. I should put it on the fridge

http://bomomo.com/

Wil Rocks the World

2009-01-30T20:59:00.002-06:00

He loves his wife, he loves his kids, he owns his geekiness, and he rocks Bon Jovi at Sci Fi Cons. My hero:

The joy to be found here is truly a thing of beauty

Cold Fish, Part 3

2009-01-29T16:09:00.000-06:00

There is a discussion going as a result of the article about women being attracted to other women. Even hetero women, it seems, have a touch of the gay. These bloggers are discussing the possibility that patriarchal depictions of women are leading other women to be attracted to their own. One blogger states that women have become a symbol of sex. In research, such as our cold fish survey in part 1, women have described being attracted to the female form in pornography, but finding the male form has no impact. In advertising, the sexualized woman is to be found more often than the sexualized male. This is making people wonder—is the fact that media is hetero male-oriented making women entertain sexual thoughts about other women?

Dan Savage, our favorite sex advice columnist describes female sexuality as very fluid. Despite the bitching of his critics, he claims that a large portion of females that claim a “bisexual” designation go on to have long term heterosexual relationships or eventually get married--to a man.

General levels of acceptance for homosexuality are rising, so it stands to reason that women feeling some Sapphic urges would be more comfortable expressing those urges. In a time when “I Kissed a Girl” is a top 40 hit, the idea of being just a little gay is trendy. There’s also the consideration that men find the idea of two women being together to be sexy. This all gives a woman, albeit a shallow one, a lot of reasons to consider short-term bisexuality. Not only does it give a thrill because of the taboo nature of the activity, but it also gives a thrill to the object of such women’s desires—men.

This is not to say that bisexuality in women is a myth. Described above is say, bisexuality light, the “just a phase” kind of bisexuality. There are plenty of women who are truly bisexual and enjoy the benefits of having both men and women in their beds and hearts. But true bisexuality doesn’t explain the phenomenon of straight-identified women who are reportedly finding images of women to be more sexually arousing than those of men.

It seems pretty simple, really. Women are marketed. We are the sexy but (usually ineffectual) part of the superhero team, the sexy purveyors of products, the sexy focus of pornography. Very rarely are men sexualized in this way in mainstream media. Some beautiful men sell cologne, but most of the time we see an average male surrounded by beautiful women as a result of his amazing smell. (Thanks, Axe). The men in ads are complete idiots who can’t do anything, relying on the woman of the house to make everything work. I can see why this isn’t turning the women on.

Pornography is a whole issue of its own—the male participants are chosen by certain body parts, with the misguided thinking that if it’s big enough, that’s all that matters. In straight porn, the female audience is expected to be as impressed with the equipment as the men are, and completely ignore the fact that the actor is either completely unattractive or just a prop to fulfill a male fantasy of going through the same old tired motions with an attractive woman. Men are strange creatures, desiring to live vicariously through men chosen to make them feel inferior and give them hope at the same time. I’m not surprised that the token men in these films aren’t grabbing a woman’s attention.

Once women grab creative control of some of these situations, then we’ll start to rediscover the male as a sex object.

Cold Fish, Part 2

2009-01-27T12:02:00.000-06:00

My own response to the idea that women don’t enjoy/want/desire sex: it is unfathomable how this idea perpetuates. This idea was stated as fact--women want less sex than men--in multiple sources, including this NYT article. It is stated that 30% of women suffer from a lack of sexual desire or levels of sexual desire lower than the norm. Most times, the discussion then moves directly to a description of hopes on the horizon of drugs that will be the female equivalent of Viagra; never mind the fact that Viagra works to create and maintain an erection only, not bolster a flagging desire.

Women are seen as asexual creatures and men are seen as hypersexual creatures. In my limited experience, and that of my circle of friends, this does not bear out. I know many women who want sex, and seem to want it more than their male counterparts. The idea itself is nonsensical on a biological level. How does that help the continuation of the species? Surely the female experiences the same level of desire.

In my opinion, it is the continuation of the Madonna/whore complex and the focus on male desire that leads to a lack of sexual response in women. Women still feel pressured to deny their sexuality. I’ve discovered a group of Vixens who I can be frank about sexuality with, but in other situations, and other groups of women, to admit to being highly sexual is still a bit scandalous and embarrassing. So I’m not at all sure that groups of women, when confronted with a poll regarding their sexual desire will be answering honestly. Sorry, girls.

Secondly, Cosmo tells these women that they should be focused on “blowing his mind” or a little further south. Discussions of improving the female experience of sex are few and far between. I’m sure a lot of women are experiencing the backlash from this kind of focus. Men are expecting to have their minds blown, while women are experiencing sex for pleasure, but not expected to experience the kind of pleasure their partners are experiencing.

The symptoms of this kind of behavior is easy to see. Increasingly, women are relying on sex toys in the bedroom to get theirs. I’ve heard the statistics, something like 70% of women cannot reach orgasm without a little technological assistance or direct stimulation of the clitoris. It could be expected that with this information readily available, that men would be incorporating direct clitoral stimulation to make sure that their bedmates get theirs. I’m sure there are some, but it seems to be far from common. It seems the male fantasy of bringing a woman through the power of the penis alone is dominating the bedroom, leaving large portions of the female population to either fake it, or reassure the men in their lives that they just enjoy the physical sensations and that release isn’t that important.

And true, female sexuality can be a tricky thing. It’s ever-changing, and there is never going to be the strategy that works for every woman, or even the same woman every time. Also true, the physical sensation and intimacy is enough, even when an orgasm isn’t a part of sex. But instead of jumping to these conclusions about cold women and how they need medication, had they considered foreplay? I mean, honestly.

Cold Fish, Part I

2009-01-27T11:44:00.001-06:00

This is going to be a blog on a blog on a blog, but I found on The Stranger’s blog, Slog, and entry referring to a blog regarding the article on the cover of the New York Times’ Magazine. Follow?
The original article covered female sexuality. The same ideas are covered in the responding blogs: women don’t enjoy sex and that it is a feminist ideal to reject sex. Also, they explore the idea of women being attracted to other women as sexual objects. This will be a three part response, because I’ve got a little bit to say as the resident nympho.

Early feminist thinking cast women as the unwilling commodity. The woman was an object desired for sex, for comfort, and for the propagation of the species. She, as well as her wants and desires, were unimportant. The initial feminist response was a rejection of men, which led many women to reject sex or turn to lesbian relationships for an outlet. Later, revolutionary new feminists reclaimed heterosexual relationships, focusing on their own desires and needs, making sure that their sexuality was expressed. Now, it seems that we are in a back slide, with women’s magazine covers proclaiming that their magazines hold the secrets to how to catch a man, how to keep him, and how to perform insanely sexual acts to blow his mind. In the same way as the description of modern Japanese sexuality in the love hotels post, it seems that once again as women we have been suckered into this idea that male sexuality is dominant.

In Sex in Crisis (by Dagmar Herzog), the author states that the basic female and male fantasies are complimentary. The female fantasizes of being pleasured and the man fantasizes about giving pleasure. But even in this, on the basic level, the psychology of the female leads her to be passive. In the blog responses that inspired this post, there is an argument that it is a situation of nature vs. nurture. And it makes sense. In a patriarchal society, there is a fundamental flaw. While a woman always knows that a child is her offspring, a man has no guarantee. In order to make sure that the wealth of a man is correctly passed on to his biological children, restrictions must be placed on female sexuality.

This is where the hymen and concept of virginity get it’s special place in the male imagination. If a woman comes to you with a guarantee that she couldn’t be carrying someone else’s child. If you carefully regulate her sexuality afterward, your chances of fathering the children in your household are much improved. This is the beginnings of the male shaping of female sexuality--the Madonna/whore complex. A man wants to experience pleasure with a openly sexual woman, but at the same time, can’t trust that woman to have only his children. So you have sex with the whore, but you marry a Madonna, a woman who exhibits much less sexuality. Therefore, you can be mostly sure she won’t run around on you, because her interest is less anyway.

Because the desired situation in most cultures is marriage, then that shapes the way that females are treated and taught about their sexuality from birth. If you want your daughter to grow into the kind of woman that can be married, then you must teach that daughter to be the Madonna. This is becoming a less important idea in modern American society now that women are capable of building their own lives as adults, but in the past, and in other cultures, it is tantamount. Be virginal and pure minded, and you survive. Otherwise, it is a life of expressing your sexuality at the whim of men looking for whores (and the set of behavioral rules that goes along with that).

I know as a woman from the Midwest, I have struggled with this set of cultural rules. I was raised in the Madonna tradition. As an adult, after a marriage that failed in large part to my being unable to fit the Madonna role, I struggle to fit into the dichotomy. At times, being the whore is divine, but I can’t support the image completely. I’ve proved that I’m not the Madonna. I’m stuck with the curiosity and knowledge that has led me to discover what I want, but the old-fashioned upbringing that inhibits me from being fully confident and able to explore the things that I want. I question my sexuality, from my drive to my desires, and fear that from a societal standpoint, I’d be found deviant.

Heartbreak Hotel

2009-01-26T16:08:00.003-06:00

I found an awesome book of pictures this weekend.
Love Hotels. It presents pictures of Japanese love hotels without text other than the identification of the hotel and the name of the room. Pictured above is a portion of the Hello Kitty S&M room, an incredibly popular choice for those that frequent such places.

While the photos are presented without editorializing, there is an intro that gives information on the phenomenon of the love hotel in Japan. The love hotel is part of a history that begins in the geisha tea house. The Japanese author that has created this introduction points to a dichotomy between the Japanese idea of family/honor and sex/love. Amazing sex and love are not necessarily what a Japanese person expects to find in a marriage. The important thing is keeping the image of family/honor intact. This leads husbands and wives, but mostly husbands, to seek outside sexual contacts.

The love hotel, in the beginning, was somewhat like the American no-tell motel. The biggest difference seems to be that the love hotel is designed for rendezvous. In recent history, entrepreneurs have seen more potential in the love hotel, leading to highly stylized spaces for sex play: undersea adventures, classroom settings, a mock subway, and the ever notorious Hello Kitty room. It has become a hot thing for young people to party in the love hotel and more young singles frequent them.

The introduction takes a preachy turn as this Japanese author decries the focus of these hotels. S&M elements are to be found in most every room. The fantasies the rooms are built around are male fantasies, featuring schoolgirls being chained to blackboards and innocent women molested on the subway. In many cases, the people going to these rooms are young women who have just met their partners.

The author contends that the current state of the love hotel shows a break down in the male psyche that leads them to pursue women only as objects: the wife kept at home, and the woman chained to the Hello Kitty themed bed in the hotel room. There is a disparity in power in these situations to be sure, but I was a little sad that this amusement park approach to sex came with such a negative implication.

I wanted to imagine what it was like to be chained to the Hello Kitty bed without having to wonder about a society where men seem to prefer that all their women be helpless.

A Favorite Recipe for Tostadas

2009-01-23T17:40:00.003-06:00

Spinach
Garlic
Bell peppers
Cheese
Jalapenos - fresh and the kind in the bottle
White Onions
Black beans
Corn chips or corn tortillas baked to a crisp

Heat the black beans separately, and one may saute the onions, peppers and garlic in vegetable oil.

Dump all of it on the chips, then bake together until the cheese is melted.

Serve with sour cream and avocados.

I eat this at least once a day. And you can put anything you want on it. I stopped short of potatoes today, because I thought that would be too much. But I love veggies, and this is a good way to get a bunch of them together for fun.

Nothing more popular in culture than marriage.

2009-01-19T12:58:00.005-06:00

Last night I dreamed that I was visiting a big city on my own. I was at a conference or some gathering. This isn't much different than my reality, as I travel a lot, often to conferences, or for something related to adventure. And often I travel on my own. In this dream I was dressed sharp, was confident and didn't know exactly where I was going, but I was content with the meandering.

In the dream, there were some men chasing me with the intent to kidnap me. My good friend John appeared in the dream and tried to waylay them as I hid, but ultimately couldn't do much to stop them. I ended up in a small town in Texas, where I was looking for help from some people. I went to the video store, the gas station, the grocery, and the men who owned these places all looked at me as if the men who were chasing me in the city could see me through their eyes.

I have a good idea of where the dream comes from. In reality, I'm very independent. In fact, I'm planning a trip to Kenya, and I'm going on my own. I do all my own home repair, and grow my own food. I do most everything by myself, but I don't feel alone because I've got the world to keep me company.

I also walk around feeling very sharp and attractive, and the conference, well...one major personal characteristic is that I'm very involved, and I'm an idea person who gets off when people are attracted to my ideas.

In the dream, 99% of the men were bad guys, who I had work to avoid. I was fearful as to what would happen if they got a hold of me.

This is also similar to my experience. I've never felt so confident, attractive, energetic and creative as I've been since I made the decision to remain single. I like being by myself, walking confidently in heels and a suit like I owned the place. But in relationships with men, I haven't been able to embrace that freedom. Other than a few special men in my life, relationships with men have robbed me from being the big badass lady I'm capable of being. Their chasing me is to harm me....by taking away my freedom. They want me so they can harm me.

I just told my Dad and sister last night that I don't want to get married...I have too many interests (including love interests :) and there's no room in my world for negotiation. I take up too much space in my life to let any minor worm work its way in. I have brilliant love for my Dad, my grandma and brother and sister, and my friends, and that love is what reciprocates. That love is everything that matters in the world.

Epiphany

2009-01-19T08:05:00.001-06:00

I finally figured it out. I can’t seem to catch a break in anything. Since I’ve moved here, it’s been pretty much bad all over. When I seem to be at my lowest point, something inevitably takes me lower. I can’t find a good job, I’m getting divorced, I have no money or prospects. But today, I know why.

In my company inbox this morning, I got a smartly designed powerpoint that explained to me that a Chinese proverb from the Netherlands sent by a South American Missionary could change my life (yeah, I don’t know). The proverbs advised that I could buy a lot of things, a house, a bed, or sex, but I couldn’t buy a home, sleep, or love. There were more examples, but these were the best.

The multi-national powerpoint then advised me that if I sent it on to 20 people, then I would be rich! Forget the fact that money can’t buy everything, as stated in the prior section of the power point, I could be Rich! If that weren’t incentive enough, there was a dire warning. If you don’t forward, then you will have bad luck. You’ll lose your job and your kids will get sick, but don’t worry, you can still redeem yourself by sending on 20 copies, and then you’ll be rich with healthy kids.

That was the moment I realized. I delete every one of those kinds of chains without a thought, except for perhaps cursing the person who sent me the crap in the first place. If I had just forwarded one on, I would be rich and successful and thin and probably the happiest person in the world. What a fool I’ve been.

I worship my elders.

2009-01-17T14:13:00.004-06:00

I've been meaning to write about something I feel very passionate about, so I may get a little emotional.

I dreamed the other night that I was at a cafe with my family and there was a little commotion in the corner. An elderly woman was obviously in physical distress, and no one would call emergency. No one did anything, and it made me angry, so I took care of her, made her comfortable and called the paramedics. No one was doing anything but sitting around, so after the paramedics came to get the lady, I yelled, "You're all motherfuckers, and you all need to leave now!!" And my aunt came out to confront me, and I pushed her away. I was calling everyone a motherfucker.

I woke up, went to work and called the Senior Food Bank to volunteer. They couldn't take me because of my work hours, but referred me to some other agencies for seniors. I haven't felt so good and right about something in a long time.

When I was flying to San Francisco the in-flight movie was Young at Heart, which I've been wanting to see for a while. I think I was the only one on the plane sobbing. Here's a clip from the movie that's beautiful:

Here's the thing, it gets me really angry to think about how society treats/thinks of the gray panthers. And the truth is, they've enriched my life in ways that not one of the ass holes my age could ever accomplish. I wasted my younger years drinking with dipshits, and searching out relationships with worthless males, instead of spending my time with people who matter.

Seniors have made us who we are...we would literally not be here today if it weren't for them, for their sacrifices and innovations. They're rich with stories, and listening to them is learning from them.

In fact, my job is based on the histories of these people. I work with photographs from pre-statehood to the 1960s. I don't know what the fuck I'm looking at if I don't have someone who remembers to tell me. They tell me, I tell the researcher, who puts the information together and gives us a glimpse into who we were. All the stories come together to define us, past and present come together right here.

The old timers have the stories of what my city was like before it was destroyed by Urban Renewal. Valuing seniors is valuing our culture and our history. Where we came from is a big part of who we are now.

And if I ever hear anyone say something bad about the gray panthers, I'll knock their teeth out of their fucking skulls.

I'll leave you with one final video:

I only live in the bubble

2009-01-13T10:33:00.007-06:00

(c)
(d)
(a)
(b)
(d)
One reason why I've stayed in this community, neighborhood hopping in the same great big central OKC bubble, is the art scene. We've got galleries in the Paseo, at the Fairgrounds and downtown, with really nice art openings. And I've seen some really cool stuff that gets the inspiration pumping. The only problem with attending art openings is running into art-loving ex-boyfriends because the community's pretty small.

I keep an eye on upcoming events by subscribing to the Oklahoma Visual Arts Coalition online newsletter, and write down on my calendar all the events that look interesting (and for me, don't cost to get in...because I'm poor). Go here to visit the OVAC web site, and browse the work by local artists here.

My ultimate local favorites are Paul Mays (a), Ruth Ann Borum (b), Tunde Darvay (c), and Sarah Hearn (d). These are my own personal favorites, but I'll cover some more popular favorites and galleries where they show in another blog.

I think Oklahoma has a great art community that can be even more great if we could just reach out further into the communities and get people in Midwest City, Yukon, Moore, etc. as excited about art as we are here in "the bubble." If there's one thing I believe in, it's that art is for everyone...everyone can create, and creation is a very human act. I mean...look at me, I'm a blue collar poor kid living amongst crackheads and prostitutes and I'm involved in the art scene!

Shuffle, Part Two

2009-01-13T08:20:00.003-06:00

I went to Wikipedia for the main character’s name in Shuffle, and so much was explained. The author has listed it as “your typical harem romance.” I had no idea that such a thing existed, but sign me up. Just make sure I’m the harem master, not just a member. I also discovered that it is based on a Japanese “dating simulator.” This makes sense. The whole plot of the show is him being pursued by women, being the passive party while they take him underwear shopping, pick out special underwear to wear on dates, parade around in swimsuits, and get naked whenever possible.

For those of you who haven’t played such a simulator, it is just that. With the major exception that you play the role of the boy, and you are actively seeking some love (if you know what I mean). There is usually a cast of women for your choosing: a teacher, an innocent, a tease, a bookworm, sporty spice, someone with cat ears. There are several women for your choosing, some more difficult to “date” and others that are easy (wink, wink, nudge, nudge). There are obstacles to your wooing—so many hours in a day, a limit to the number of days, you have to keep your grades up. But your main goal is to get laid. I mean, “date.” As you successfully woo your lady friends, you are rewarded with manga style drawings of what base you made it to, leading up to the moment when you actually get a girl into bed, when you get a drawing of what that looks like. Kind of like Leisure Suit Larry, but you have to study.

So it’s an anime based on a computer “dating simulator” in which the horny teen has been recast as the virtuous prince. He just can’t help it if the women follow him around. By the way, if you’re interested in playing a simulator, there are some free “dating simulators” available for download, and some of the translations into English are intentionally hilarious. Bonus entertainment value.

Shuffle!

2009-01-13T08:17:00.001-06:00

I can’t help but to join in on conversations with geeks at night school about anime. They get very excited about their anime, and compare which anime you watch to what they are watching. The men usually throw out the same names: Naruto, Dragonball Z, and Inuyasha. I’ve not really gotten into those. I’ve gotten into in-depth discussions regarding the different series that we usually share (Death Note, Bleach) and been given more spoilers than I care to think about.

But one guy, who was a little bit special, gave me a recommendation for one I’d never even heard of. Shuffle. It’s on Hulu, so I thought I’d check it out. I put it on my listing of tv shows, and the kids fired it up one weekend. There was the warning that it was for mature audiences only, but I don’t generally worry too much about that, because I figured there were a few bad words or one of those weird moments like when Sailor Moon transforms, and everyone feels a little uncomfortable.

Turns out it’s for a little more. Here’s the premise of the anime. Young man (Rin Tsuchimi) is an orphan, he lives with a young woman who lost her family in the same accident. She lives to serve him. One day at school, two new students come in. They are both beautiful girls; one is the princess of the gods, the other is the princess of the demons. They are best friends, and somehow came to know the young man from when they were kids, and they want to marry him. With their dads in tow, they are wooing him. He also has a best friend who is in love with him, but she keeps it secret, despite her blatant overtures.

Whether it’s because I’m western, or because I’m a woman, I find the whole thing rather disgusting. He shows very little interest in any of these women, and while he’s a thoughtful person, respecting their feelings and treating them as human beings, the fact that the whole story revolves around all these girls with a slightly different look and slightly different personality going to the mats for this guy is too much for me. There are other fish in the sea, ladies.

Eventually we got bored with the whole enterprise, and gave up around episode seven.

Sounds like . . .

2009-01-08T08:26:00.000-06:00

OK, I was thinking about the blog, and thinking that my sad little birthday post might have ruined the party. Like when you see a movie, and there’s a house party, and everybody’s dancing, and people are swinging from the chandeliers and talking loudly and what not, and then that one guy (you know the guy) says something highly inappropriate and you hear the sound of the arm of a record player being ripped across the record, and everybody stops and stares at the offending person. And then you have dead silence as everybody judges.

But then I thought, hey, I bet these young whippersnappers these days aren’t even familiar with that noise. I’ve had vinyl all my life, even though I don’t really use it that much. I know the sound, though. That sound that means eighties movies and faux pas. It’s a universal signifier for the social difficulty. Or at least, it used to be. I hear it in commercials still. (I think it’s Twix commericials, right before they implore you to “chew it over with a Twix”) Do the young ‘uns know what that sound is? Are there enough DJ’s still scratching to keep it alive? Will it continue to be an influence until our generation passes and then quickly fade away like the sound at the party?

I guess sounds die. I had never really thought about it before. There are surely an infinite number of things that made their own unique sounds that we will never hear; sounds that are lost to antiquity. A sound seems like a stable and constant thing. There are variations in even repeated sounds, but the idea that you could lose the sound of something forever is a sad one. Languages are an obvious loss. Losing the sound of a people’s language is tragic. The loss of the sound of a musical instrument seems terrible too. Even losing the sounds produced by machinery made by man seem to be a great loss. So do your part, introduce the youth in your life to that sound.

I can see me explaining that to my kids. “ . . . and that’s when you know what you said is SO NOT COOL. You’ll hear the sound, and then everyone will stop everything and stare.”

End of Holidays

2009-01-06T08:47:00.000-06:00

Every year at this time, I’m hit with a triple whammy: Christmas, my anniversary, and my birthday. It must have seemed like a good idea to schedule a wedding in between Christmas and my birthday at the time, but I had never really considered the poverty that I would be living in forever.

I love Christmas, and I love giving presents. I never am able to give the kids what I want to, much less anyone else. Generally, I forgo presents so they can have them. I’m sure this is the way it should be.

Sometimes we’ve managed to go out for our anniversary. It is hit or miss, but sometimes we do. Last time we went out for our anniversary, the waitress gave me the check. I was greatly disturbed by that. To me, it signaled that there was no look of romance about the date. I don’t remember any romance, but still. This year, I planned a dinner despite the impending divorce, and he went to his grandmother’s instead.

Today is my birthday. I’m thirty-one, and I still have a fixation on presents. I like them a lot. There is no money for a cake or presents. My mom always sends me a present, and for that, I’m very glad. I feel like I should be over presents, but I can’t help myself.

Then again, the highlight of my day so far has been a call from my dad to wish me a happy day. It reminded me of a birthday from a long time ago, probably when I was 10 or 11. My birthday was on a weekend, and my dad was going fishing, and because it was my birthday, I got to go too. It was very exciting, and very cold. I remember my mom telling my dad to wake me up at 6ish in the morning, because that’s when I was born. He did, too. I was sleeping in the truck, with my head asleep on dad’s shoulder. He woke me up and wished me happy birthday. I smiled and went back to sleep. If only I could go back to sleep today.

Hulu is the business

2008-12-28T12:23:00.002-06:00

I don't remember if I've mentioned this before, but Hulu.com is an awesome site. I now can watch Death Note through at my leisure. There is also some other really great content, tv shows, movies, etc. Now you can all watch Death Note. I'm sure you'll rush over there.

The anime is strikingly similar to the manga, most anime differs in some way, but Death Note is almost like a transcription. I guess that the story was good enough that they didn't want to disturb it. I know, I'm of one mind recently, all about Death Note, but, in my defense, it is really inspirational, both to the writer and artist in me.

But I have been wasting time in other ways, watching The Office Season 3 that I got me for Christmas, playing cards with the kids, and learning to play SuperSmash Bros. Brawl on the Wii. It's a big learning curve. I can beat the four-year-old, that's about it.

And the Ass Saw the Angel

2008-12-28T11:22:00.004-06:00

About a week ago I finished reading And the Ass Saw the Angel by Nick Cave. This is from the back cover:

"Outcast, mute, a lone twin cut from a drunk mother in a shack full of junk, Euchrid Eucrow of Ukolore inhabits a nightmarish Southern valley of preachers and prophets, incest and ignorance. When the God-fearing folk of the town declare a foundling child to be chosen by the Almighty, Euchrid is disturbed. He sees her very differently, and his conviction, and increasing isolation and insanity, may have terrible consequences for them both. Compelling and astonishing in its baroque richness, Nick Cave’s acclaimed first novel is a fantastic journey into the twisted world of Deep Southern Gothic tragedy."

That said, this is one of those books that I wish I’d never read so I can enjoy reading it again for the first time. It’s like Christmas, and I read very slowly towards the end so I could savor it. The imagery is so brilliant, that I went to work the next day after reading it thinking I’d watched a movie the night before.

A major theme is about those people who are marginalized by society, why they’re marginalized, and how the marginalization affects them. And the Ass Saw the Angel is full of marginalized characters: Cosey Mo is a prostitute who is lovely in Euchrid’s eyes, Euchrid himself who is daydreamy and curious, but is assumed to be stupid and crazy, his quiet father, the only intelligent child of a severely inbred family.

Normally while reading a story, I can’t help but try to discern who the bad and good characters are supposed to be. But ATASTA blurs these definitions. The mainstream is the church people, the Ukulites, who purport to uphold what is pure and righteous, but then unleash heinous acts of violence against the people they’ve marginalized in the community: the prostitute, the crazy mute, the alcoholic. It’s no surprise that what they deem as putrid isn’t nearly as vile as the hate and violence that seethes inside them.

Throughout the book, Euchrid becomes increasingly more insane, and begins to commit more obscure acts of violence. I still can’t dislike Euchrid. It seems that in the beginning, his insanity was a seed that only grew wild because of the violence and indifference inflicted on him by his mother and the townspeople. I think it reflects a case of biology influenced by environment, which makes me sad when I think about our own stories in relation to our contemporary society.

Other than that, the story, the prose, the characters are heart-breakingly beautiful.

Here's another blog on it (but it's a spoiler on some of the action)

Comedy is the fuel to my fire

2008-12-26T12:44:00.001-06:00

political comedy, doubly so:

"Prop 8 - The Musical" starring Jack Black, John C. Reilly, and many more... by Jack Black

Only in my hometown...

2008-12-25T23:04:00.001-06:00

Most of my friends have left their hometown, never to return. Once you leave, I think it would be impossible to move back…well; at least that is my case. For example, I was the poor kid at the private school. I realize that my mom wanted the best for me and I helped round out the rich kids and their snobbiness (not that I didn’t pick some of it up). When you leave your hometown, you realize that you can re-invent yourself and leave old insecurities behind. Readers, you may find this hard to believe, but in my hometown, I am quite reserved and quiet. I often catch myself staring and wonder what I missed by not being in the class of rich and upper class of my hometown. Those 3 women in my previous post on ‘Reverence,’ are a part of that upper class that I am not a member. This is an old town, with old money and old memories. No matter what, even if I made a million, to these people I would still be nouveau rich and never part of that inner circle.
For example, my good friend is a very good attorney and very smart. She pretty much produces more work for a secretary than four attorneys. She is on her way to partner in her firm. One of the inner rich circles of the rich of our hometown is an attorney at a rival firm. She will not even acknowledge that she exists let alone they are from the same home town. I find this funny in the city the size of our capital. Leaving your roots frees most people of their fears.
I hate that I feel like I am on the outside looking in with these people when I come here. I don’t have the passport to make it to the other side of the fence. The few chances I have had to get to the other side, I have run from them…. Where I live now, I embrace every opportunity to do so…more like run if I am invited. For some reason, I feel it is my place not to go in this snobby, clique place… otherwise; I walk in everywhere else and situation like I own the place. I am glad this *fear* hasn’t followed around the world and into my real life. After examining this, I realized that I will never be able to move into a small town! Big cities only! :)
NOTE: What blows me away is that I never, ever, see this clique at Wal-Mart EVER. Surely, they don't by their toilet paper out of town, too, or pay their house keepers to do it? I guess that most of them don't work so they might not go during the weekends...or, they pay someone! LOL! :)

Reverance

2008-12-25T17:55:00.001-06:00

I usually don’t go to Midnight Mass because when I went with my mom at 11 or so, the church was so packed with people, it made it quite unpleasant. My mom said “I had NO IDEA ‘so and so’ was Catholic”. Anyway, since I missed the last Sunday in Advent, I thought I better go to at least one Mass on Christmas.
I saw some people I hadn’t seen in 100 years. In particular, I saw 3 sisters who I have known my whole life. These girls were never very pretty but they worked with what they had and could because they came from money. Their mom was my pre-school teacher a 100 years ago and their family seem to always have their hand into some money making plan that suits their needs at the time. As I looked at these women I knew as girls, I was taken aback. None of them could sit still during Mass; they couldn’t control themselves from turning around and looking at people, fidgeting with their hair, whispering and just really unbelievable. I know you come from money; a lot of things can be excused but at 33+++ for each of those girls is really unacceptable. I know the saying “you are always 17 in your hometown” BS but at 17, you should be able to control yourself during Midnight Mass and show some reverence. I am surprised that they didn’t whip out their cell phones and start texting… I guess money doesn’t buy reverence or maturity.
I also have to throw in that I was jealous. Each one of them had a matching diamond earrings that I can only assume that *Santa* brought to them on Christmas Eve. I thought they must be so spoiled that their parent’s have to get them the same earrings so there is no fighting among them in their 30s for expensive gifts…
The only thing I am not jealous of is their nose/ teeth combination. OMG. I think these three girls have the ugliest noses/teeth combination I have ever seen. I would rather not get diamond earrings and have extra ass than have these nose/horse teeth combination. Each one has a different combo and each equally ugly. Maybe their rich daddy should have taken them to the plastic surgeon instead of going to the jewelry store…and they were always goofy girls so they are probably goofy, unsophisticated women…so, I know they don’t make up for their lot in life with personality…

Bing!

2008-12-23T16:23:00.001-06:00

Around the tender age of 11, I developed the crush that ate Chicago on Bing Crosby. While my contemporaries were crushing on Cory Haim (or other such Cory’s), the New Kids on the Block, or someone from Saved By the Bell, I was watching the Road To movies with Bing and Bob Hope and wishing I was Dorothy L’Amour or Rosemary Clooney. He’s everywhere this time of year, and I revisit that time of life when I swooned for him like the teenage girls of the forties.

Christmas to me is Bing Crosby. His voice was, and remains transporting for me. He has sung for my family every year at Christmas since I can remember. Now, I reflect on the slow, dreamy quality of his voice that represents how Christmas should be. Meaningful and slow, rich and full, comfortable and comforting. All I would like to do right now is make a warm drink and cuddle on the couch with someone and watch White Christmas and Holiday Inn back to back.

Sadie, Sadie Single Lady

2008-12-19T20:34:00.013-06:00

A response to Sadie the Married Lady:

I'm thirty-one and have never been married. I have a string of failed relationships behind me. Living in Oklahoma doesn't help any, because everyone my age seems to be suckling the hard cock of tradition.

But I've got a split identity that cleaves me into two different personalities.

One personality reacts to the harsh judgments of many local married women. With phrases like, "People like you..." "I'm glad I'm not single," "you must be lonely," and "at least I'm married," I've felt like the brunt of criticism...as if something's wrong with me because I'm thirty-one and not married...unlike (apparently) every thirty-one year old woman in Oklahoma. These kinds of remarks make me feel bad about myself, and I don't like that because I'm a good person.

Despite the above-average success I've had in my life, I still feel like in my family's home community I'm not successful until I'm married. Why? Any idiot can marry any other idiot. And they do.

My other identity sleeps in until 8 am on Saturday and gets up to go for a 4-8 mile run. I go to the farmer's market and come home to work on one of my gardens. I grow my own flowers and vegetables, and eat relatively healthy, except for chocolate mousse and champagne at intervals. I paint on canvas or wood, or do some other creative projects. At nights I go out, or stay in and make elaborate dinners for my close friends. Or I stay in and read. Read in bed or the bathtub with candles and scented oils. Often on weekends, I have an overnight guest, male or female, or sometimes I prefer to sleep alone in the middle of my bed. The cherry on my experience is the luxury of leisure. This identity is happy and content, and pours my heart out to the world around me, as it lets the world pour it's exhilaration for living into me.

What I appreciate is a single or married woman who can love and appreciate me for who I am...single or married. I appreciate my women friends, married or single, who still maintain their own identity and personal strength. And who know that with or without a man, we've all got each other common.

What I don't appreciate is those married women who perpetuate the stereotype that being single is the sad alternative. I've been in your houses, I've seen your husbands, and the undesirable things that make me want to close my ears and eyes to this chaos of yours that I'm not accustomed to. The truth is, if you criticize me, 1.) you appear to be concealing insecurity and latent discontentment, and 2). you open the door for me to criticize your lifestyle choice.

I have two college degrees, have served on boards and traveled to most major cities in the US to do so. I have visited 14+ countries, have done commercial and runway modeling and still get stopped in the street by curious men. At 3 am on a school night when a girl or boyfriend calls sobbing, I put on my shoes and coat, and drive until I find them to give comfort. I'll do anything for my friends. And if a friend says, "Can you meet me in Wandsworth Town next Thursday?" I can and will. I have many friends, close loving friends, many interests and activities and access to leisure time. I can drive an hour just to tuck my Grandma into bed if I'd like...even at 2 am after getting off the phone with her (though she's so independent, she protests that she can tuck herself in).

My life only has the routine that I create for it. And if I don't like that routine, if I don't like that town or those people, I can move on. Every day can be what I make it, and living the way I chose is lovely. And by the way, I'd take a bullet for your children as long as you raise them with confidence and a self-possession like your own.

Other than that, I'm sure that you know as well as I do that your husband wants to do things to me that you'd cringe to imagine.

So leave me alone with the happy, loopy, childlike freedom of the unmarried life. Love me, and I'll worship you. Ask any of my women friends.

Something About the Eyes

2008-12-19T10:23:00.004-06:00

Death Note is addictive and intoxicating in a lot of ways. The story and characters are great, unexpected and genre-defying in many ways. But the art–the art is mind-shatteringly beautiful. At first, it seems strange and harsh, maybe even grotesque. As I continue in the series, though, it makes me sigh and pause to just look and take in the drawings.

The main character, Light, experiences a reversal of character in book 4 or 5, I can’t remember which. He loses his ambition for godhood and his power to cause death. And when he does, his eyes change. His gorgeous, half-closed, and penetrating eyes become wide-open windows into his pure soul. The change was startling and unwelcome.

The change in the character’s actions and words are not so hard for me. But his eyes are changed, feel wrong. I never knew there could be so much power invested in what seems to be a somewhat insignificant detail. Just the width of the character’s eyes.

Sadie, Sadie Married Lady

2008-12-17T09:41:00.000-06:00

I’m sure that’s from a musical somewhere. This morning I was talking to a guy at work who had just gotten married. Rarely have I seen a man glow, but this one did, with a soft and serene light. It helped me to firm up some ideas that I’ve been having about marriage.

Some of my friends devoutly wish to be married, which I tend to dismiss. (Sorry, ladies) I’ve seen the other side, I’ve been involved in a relationship which I’m discovering is more dysfunctional than I could have ever imagined. Since most of the emotions I’ve had about marriage in the last few years have been unpleasant, I tend to think that the single ladies are much better off.

But since making the announcement that the marriage is over, I have started to see married people in a new light. My friends the Trents are completely gone on each other, and such a unit. It is amazing to see. They make me wish for something similar one day. The newlyweds glow and sigh, and couples that have been married for 40 years amaze me (even though I secretly suspect that they have driven each other crazy long ago.)

From the outside, the institution of marriage seems somewhat mystical. People wear rings, and talk about their husband or wife, and when they talk or think about their significant other, they get the strangest look on their faces. I can see that if you’ve never been a part of such a supernatural alliance it would seem all important. I’m divided on the whole subject. I swear that I’m never going to get caught up in that again. But then again, the more single I get, the more wistful I feel.

free audiobooks, hippies!

2008-12-16T09:03:00.002-06:00

Librivox, free audiobooks in the public domain recorded by the common people—If that’s not modern hippie commune material, I don’t know what is.

I’m currently listening to Fanny Hill: The Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure. It is something that we talked about in grad school, but I never got a chance to read. You know it is relevant to my interests.

The fun thing about the hippie commune recordings is that you have a wide variety of voices reading the books, even with the same book. For this book, the first reader is Chip, from Tampa. He sounds like he should be reading for MovieFone. What’s even better about this is that he has a really deep voice, and the book is written from the perspective of Fanny herself, so phrases like “my innocence” and “when I was a girl” are read by a guy you know is a bass in the barbershop quartet. The payoff is in part two, when a guy with a very sexy British accent picks up the reading. I’m not to part three, but I sampled it, and it is a woman. She sounds blond and bubbly. We’ll see how it works out.

And this is some pretty hot stuff, or I’m deprived or have a thing for archaic language. I may finally get my wish for a bizarre little kink.

http://www.gutenberg.org/etext/20028

Outter...

2008-12-13T22:29:00.000-06:00

I admit…I am a dating site outter. I cruise the online dating sites, looking for anyone I might know. I don’t see any different than going out to a bar to cruise guys…you just get to know who they and what their diet is before you every speak to them.
I get most uncomfortable when I run into ads from guys I work with or went to school with…that is very uncomfortable!
It is almost the same as outing a GAY but not as serious!

And the Ass Saw the Angel

2008-12-12T19:36:00.002-06:00

I'm reading what I think is my favorite book in the entire world. Maybe.

It's And the Ass Saw the Angel by Nick Cave. It's dark, terribly disturbing and beautiful.

"Suddenly Mule stiffed and fell silent, as though ossified. The clouds of red dust engulfed the beast, then fell away and settled in veils at his feet. We stared at each other. Mule, it seemed, was cast in lead and draped in falling red veils. Dread crawled over Mule and sat like a king in all the places of his face. His lips curled back to reveal huge yellow teeth. He frothed. He foamed. His demented eyes egged in their orbits as if they were being laid. And all the while he goggled horribly, over mah shoulder, at it coming."

Where are they tonight

2008-12-08T18:13:00.006-06:00

I read this article today, and I can't stop thinking about it. Prostitution was a mystery to me, something that I thought people did due to their drug addictions. But now I think about it completely differently, and I can't believe how rampant and unchecked it is. Here's the article How Prostitution Works. It opened my eyes to so many things, and made me think.

One thing that occurred to me after reading this article is how glamorized pimps are in mainstream society right now. Sexual inequality is extremely pronounced in prostitution. The women are victims of violence...if it was your mother or sister, wouldn't you be angry? And the men who commit the violence are glorified by society.

Another issue it brought up is that it seems like when someone robs a bank or kidnaps a person or a vehicle or whatever, the crime is acknowledged by the cops and the newspaper. The criminals are sought and punished. So why is prostitution so rampant and it seems....acceptable? Why does the law not do more to aggressively address prostitution, and why are there not aggressive ad campaigns to illicit compassion for the victims of prostitution? Why is there not education in the mainstream about what's really going on?

I think the law doesn't do more against prostitution because the women aren't like me or you reporting a stolen car. I'm an educated white middle-class women, and that somehow gives me rights that aren't given to prostitutes.

I thought also of the women's self-esteem. How could they ever think that they'd be able to merge with a society that thinks so poorly of them? Their self-esteems are broken, but how could they attempt to reach out to society for support and protection, when society rejects them and views them as garbage?

And abuse: especially if you're raised in an abusive home, that's your world. Why should you expect anything different from the real world? You don't know anything different, so you're more likely to accept the abuse. That's why I like YWCA's slogan: Eliminating Racism, Empowering Women. I feel like empowerment comes about through building self-esteem. I want to see these women rehabilitated and recovered enough to say, "Oh, fuck no!" when it comes to abusive relationships.

And one final thought, I think building self-esteem for women and respect from men begins when they're boys and girls. I know schools can't always nurture this, but maybe other programs for outreach. I think girls need to know that even if they get shit at home, they don't have to put up with shit from the rest of the world.

Here are a couple of interviews with prostitutes in OKC. They're difficult to watch, but they made me angry about the situation of girls and women all over the world.

Yvonne
Mary

My New Favorite Song

2008-12-05T09:26:00.000-06:00

Stay warm inside

2008-12-03T19:57:00.005-06:00

I keep thinking about what a strange time we're living in. Not that I expected to go through life without experiencing any of the insanity that my grandparents did during the great depression and two World Wars. Or maybe I did...maybe I thought the security of my childhood would extend into forever. Grandpa had fought the demons with his heroic strength and fearlessness to sit back in his old age and provide security and tenderness to his grandchildren. As a side note, it seems that without him, my security in unconditional love is lamentably uncertain.

Earlier, I was washing some laundry in the kitchen sink and reflecting with a heavy heart on the most recent events in India. I wondered if a war is beginning to brew between Pakistan and India. I read on CNN today about Rwanda, and have a helpless understanding that the violence (poverty and AIDS) in Africa is far from being over. There's the report I heard about on NPR that within five years there's certain to be another terrorist attack in the West. And then our own individual, but nationally collective, spiral into economic crisis.

When I was a child I believed in something good and redeeming. That hope could come even in the darkness moments. But at thirty-one I realize that I don't believe in anything any more. After so many years of awakening to the willingness of human beings to inflict pain or death on others, I don't believe that there's a light at the end of anyone's tunnel.

So what keeps me going without a secure personal foundation of love, a sense of home to return to, uncertain beliefs for anything beyond this world, hope for peace and compassion to prevail over violence and apathy?

I think there's an answer. I think there's potential for compassion and love everywhere. Each of us just has to chose it. I think there's hope and disappointment, pain and delight in every human experience. I do believe in one thing that's eternal: the capacity of the human spirit to love, to give selflessly, to make decisions that will affect others in positive ways, and even throw some creativity out into the world. The answer's in that feeling we get when we go out of the way to help a patron find a picture of their great-grandfather, or bring some magazines by a friend's house when she's laid up with a broken leg. Or I don't know...like making enough soup to share with friends.

And for our own pockets of personal experience, I believe it's how we use the opportunity in each moment...or the more positive moments...to enjoy the simple things that emerge from daily existence and activity. As I rinsed my laundry in the sink, I took advantage of that time to reflect: many people are hurting in this world right now, tomorrow it could be me. But for now, I'm going to enjoy this music...this moment, the textures and smells and colors, and the quiet of the night.

it's like that disco song, but much sadder.

2008-12-01T13:31:00.001-06:00

I’m leaving. Yeah, we’ve played these games before, though it’s usually you doing the leaving. I don’t understand how things have gotten to the way they are now, but the situation is intolerable, so the only choice I have is to go. It’s either live in pain for sixty years, or go and make them mine, whether they turn out good or bad.

You treat me badly. You’ve treated me badly for years. You ignore me, punish me with silence, critique everything from my choice in entertainment to friends to my technique in bed. You dislike my ambition, my love for education. You have convinced me to change for you without asking. I don’t even recognize myself anymore. I’m doing all the things for a guy that I said I’ve never do: change my personality and my behaviors, and put off my dreams, and sacrifice what is important to me.

You’ve ignored my needs; I have sex only when I force the issue, which is usually about once every three months. Yet, I find you in front of the computer about 2-3 nights a week. I don’t remember the last time you kissed me. That is the part that I’m most ashamed of. You may act like it is me avoiding the physical affection in our relationship, but you describe the sensation of me touching you as “weird.” I can put my arms around you and you remain motionless. I’ve dealt with that for a long time.

So why have I stayed? You are a good father. I come home at night, and the kids are happy. I like seeing them happy. I love sharing the kids with someone who loves them the same way I love them. I promised myself as a child of 13 that I’d never put my kids through a divorce. It complicates everyone’s lives, and there are all kinds of difficult considerations: living arrangements, money, emotional health and security for the kids.

But I finally have reached that place my mother must have reached when I was 13. I can’t do it anymore. If I stay, it’s a death sentence. So I’ll go. And I’ll most likely be happy again, but it will take years to undo the damage.

The best things in life are

2008-11-26T16:14:00.005-06:00

Today's thanksgiving and my thirty-first birthday. I began my special day by taking my first dose of prozac.

It's not a secret. I'm depressed, and I haven't been able to shake it since my Grandfather got sick and passed away in the Fall of 2006.

The thing about depression is that it can take a depressed person a long time to work up the motivation to get help. I made it to that point. I endured apathy to find out what psychologists took my insurance and made an appointment with one. I've been going to her once a month since April. That's for forty-five minutes every four weeks. Forty dollars for forty-five minutes every four weeks.

And I'm worse than I've been in months. So today, at the prompting of my good friends, I went to my regular physician for anti-depressants. I told him I was quitting my psychologist, and we talked about how I should be going at least once a week....he preferred twice a week. He gave me prozac (as Dad says: "Yay prozac.")

I feel like I've done well with the process, and things are finally beginning to move back in the upwards direction. Getting drugs, talking to supportive friends...it's very much helped me in initiating improvements.

However, I've hit a road block. While my former counselor suggested I find a way to stick with my psychologist, I find it really ironic that someone who's suffering from a deep debilitating depression can't afford to get real help. I can't afford to go four times a month ($160). I'm a simple person...I have nothing else to cut out of my budget to accommodate that. On top of all this, my insurance is going up next year, meaning I'll be making $30-$80 less on my paycheck every month. And finally, my co-pay is going up to $45. I'm finding myself slipping through a loophole again.

I'm searching for a counseling clinic with a sliding scale payment plan. I'm terribly nervous that I'll make too much money to qualify for their sliding scale (yet, too little to be able to pay for services at regular cost). It doesn't make me feel any better about myself that I can't afford help. Somehow I can't help but feel like it says something about my personal worth.

And I hope that this birthday day isn't foreshadowing of what I have to look forward to for the rest of my life. However, my prozac prescription? It's free!!

2008-11-24T20:35:00.002-06:00

In FY09, I am going on a debt diet.

I realized that I may *need* a new car in FY09 since I have 96K miles on my car and I need to see what I can afford. In accordance with my calculations, I should have an excess of $439.00 per month to spend on a car payment however, it seems I am always dipping into my saving account to pay off a bill….or whipping out the Old Visa to put gas in my car. SO, from this day on, I will give myself a $25 luxury item a pay period and see if I can save a car payment a month and deal in cash only. No more Amazon.Com purchases, no more new shoes, no more antique furniture, no more trips to Hasting’s, no more Made In China Wal-Mart crap…only the library from now on and wear what I have and get rid of the Made in China crap from Wal-Mart! I am tired of RED!!!! I want to operate in the BLACK AGAIN!

Juicy Bits!

2008-11-23T09:22:00.003-06:00

So um.....I've been reading The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty. First time, too. It's fascinating! And it reminds me of this book I read for a class when I was getting my masters. We were supposed to read a romance novel. I don't like the Harlequin paperbacks (not because I'm a snob, but because I just can't get into the stories), so I picked up another book. I can't remember what it's called (DANGIT!), but I remember it took place in a medieval history of a land where the women were dominant and the men submissive. And the women WERE dominant. My professor asked me to read some of the more juicy passages to the class (we were a class full of women).

If I remember it, I'll let you know. And I want to check it out again :)

2008-11-21T21:21:00.003-06:00

I feel like, since things haven't turned out the way I thought they would, I should invest some time in helping people less fortunate than me in material or educational ways. But for some reason I can't bring myself to do a damned thing to help anyone. I can't even help myself. I just want to sit here and drink. I'm thinking that I might pull out of it some when spring gets here (because winter's the devil), but I'm pretty certain I'll never be able to transcend my resentment toward certain disappointments.

I think I just need to leave this place as soon as I can. Sure circumstance is close on my heals wherever I go, but at least I'll be able to fight it in a new place. Like maybe a with a white sand beach! And I'll bring all the poor homeless people with me, and we'll have a big party.

Phoenix Rising

2008-11-20T11:07:00.000-06:00

The Phoenix is a mythical bird who burns up and then is reborn from it’s ashes. How beautiful is that?. Myself and at least one other Vixen, have burned up and are in the process of re-creating ourselves from our ashes. The burning is not so pleasant, but it helps to know that you can rebuild. And the rebuilding isn’t easy either, but knowing that you’re starting your life again, fresh and renewed, it is quite empowering.

We find this cycle of ending and beginning again often in nature; our cells shed and regenerate so that we have a completely new epidermis from the one we were born with. Nature is well aware of the importance of shedding the old and exposing the new. I’m happy to say that my fellow Vixen and I are not fighting our rebirth, but are embracing it. I hope that others can recognized this pattern in their lives and embrace it, if for no other reason then to know you are not trapped and the power of change lies in all of us.

Ok, I’m done being totally gay.
(Peace, love and happiness ya’ll.)

[Yeah, I couldn’t help it, LOL]

The Original Political Blog

2008-11-19T18:29:00.002-06:00

So riding through podunk towns through East Texas, I discovered something shocking: while there have not always been political blogs, there have been certain venues for such discussions.

I found one such think tank in the restroom of a gas station in a town of roughly 3000 people. I got the outsider stare as I came in, but I think they were just protecting the valuable information contained within.

As I sat on the stall, I was confronted with such gems as "Jesus Loves You" and "Obama is a cunt." Stunningly reasoned. I was impressed the the wide scope and depth of thinking to be found. Bathroom wall punditry: a lost art.

Burglery and Pawn Shops

2008-11-18T18:31:00.004-06:00

I did not know there was a connection until my friend was burglarized last weekend.

It scared me because I would feel violated as well as losing my stuff.

She asked if I would go to a few Pawn shops with her...I said sure...because I am always up to go to a store....

The first one we pulled up, we walked in our work clothes in a Mercedes Benz...I guess they don't see a lot of those at pawn shops because they wouldn't leave us alone. It was very crazy. So, if you are shopping in pawn shops, don't go in good clothes or in fancy car...they want to sell you something! LOL! We couldn't look for her stuff on the down low!

I asked someone what the weirdest thing that someone tried to pawn...it was their gold tooth filling...you must be on hard times to do something like that....

Change '08

2008-11-17T14:08:00.001-06:00

All of a sudden, I feel like I’m surrounded by a world of choices. I feel like I could stand up, walk out of this place, and completely change my life. I realize that I don’t have to be here, I don’t have to live like this. It wouldn’t necessarily be easy, but today, I feel like I’m the mistress of my own destiny. Weird.

Handicap...

2008-11-15T13:51:00.003-06:00

My friend is handicap. He walks with 2 crutches and he is very slow to get around. People stare. I feel bad for him when people stare.
Last night, in a bar, a drunk spilled a drink on him. Shit happens....but an appolgy is always in order. So, walking down the street to get him a new t-shirt, I see the offender....I walk up to her and say this..."you know you spilled a drink on my friend." she looks dumbfounded. I say "he walks with 2 crutches....and now we have to go buy him a shirt" Dumb Drunk Ass Bitch (I say in my head) and walk off.... I don't play that....
Anyway, we got our friend a T-Shirt that said "Everyone Love You but Everyone Else Thinks your an ASSHOLE..." That is perfect for a handicap who gets stares...

If a tree falls...

2008-11-12T21:21:00.004-06:00

This isn't really related to pop culture. It's related to being a single thirty-something in Oklahoma.

I love where my career's leading me, my new house and neighborhood, and the Oklahoma economy isn't as bad as it is in other places. I have great friends who are my family, and of course my family's here.

I feel like, as a single thirty-something woman, that I've landed in sort of a permanent place relationship-wise. I've dated for a million years, and it hasn't happened yet, so I'm kind of putting in my resignation in on the dating thing. I no longer have the emotional stamina for failure, so it's time to retire the jersey.

So now what I have to decide is if I want to be single in Oklahoma or go find some other state where it's more exciting and encouraging to be in my thirties and single. Do they make places like that? I've lived in Oklahoma all my life, but now I'm coming to a point where I have to choose it. I have to think about why I choose it, and why I'd choose another city to be single in...if the good stuff in the other city is better than what I have here.

I'm just not feeling like I have a place here. At work I've made my place. But regarding issues unrelated to career, I wonder if I could be more valuable somewhere else? Or find more personal fulfillment? Or a solid relationship with some fella?

But I guess what it comes down to is I don't want to be single anywhere right now. I kind of want something to count on at the end of the day...even if it's imperfect or isn't for forever. At least I can feel at home somewhere at some time. I just want to feel what it's like.

Other than that, you gals have fun in NO. I went to dinner with the author who's presenting tomorrow, and he speaks as brilliantly as he writes. I'm looking forward to it.

I feel like I've been neglecting you

2008-11-10T21:21:00.003-06:00

<--------So here's a present

To Lighten Up the Blog...

2008-11-09T20:33:00.000-06:00

http://www.gadling.com/galley-gossip/

I travel...and found this this to be funny! :)

Will blog anything interesting from the trip to NO, LA!!! :)

We should be ashamed

2008-11-08T15:21:00.001-06:00

From the NY Times

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/08/us/politics/08oklahoma.html?_r=1&ref=politics&oref=slogin

Where Tuesday’s Tide Was All Republican

By JAMES C. McKINLEY Jr.
Published: November 7, 2008

OKLAHOMA CITY — The sign over the table at the Arrow Cafe in Tecumseh, a rural town southeast of this state capital, said, “World’s Problems Solved Here,” and beneath it sat five older white Democrats with their coffee, talking politics in the golden afternoon light. Only two had voted for Barack Hussein Obama for president.

Registered Democrats outnumber registered Republicans in Oklahoma, but that was far from evident in the elections.

“I just couldn’t vote for anyone who has Hussein in his name,” joked Bob Cook, a 68-year-old poultry farmer, stretching and smiling. At the other end of the table, Jim White, 65, said he opposed abortion and so could not vote for a candidate like Mr. Obama, who favors abortion rights.

Among Oklahomans, Mr. Cook and Mr. White are hardly alone. Though the state’s Democrats still outnumber its Republicans, you would never know it by looking at the election results. Oklahoma voters went for Senator John McCain by almost two to one, bucking the tide that swept Mr. Obama to the presidency. Not a single one of the state’s 77 counties backed Mr. Obama, despite his endorsement by the popular Democratic governor, Brad Henry.

Oklahoma Republicans also made significant gains down the ticket. They picked up two seats in the State Senate and four in the Oklahoma House, giving them a majority in both houses of the Legislature for the first time in the state’s century-long history. In addition, the party hung on to a United States Senate seat and solidly defeated challengers for the four Congressional seats held by Republicans.

“This is a consolidation of what’s been going on for a long time,” said Keith Gaddie, a political scientist at the University of Oklahoma. “The systematic creep toward the Republican Party, and it’s been happening for 30 years.”

Perhaps nowhere else in the country is the conflict between Southern rural Democrats and the national Democratic Party more starkly evident than in Oklahoma, which has not voted for a Democratic presidential nominee since 1964.

“Oklahoma Democrats, with very few exceptions, are the old-line white Southern Democrats,” said David Ray, another political scientist at the university. “They don’t like liberals or liberalism.”

Indeed, the state has a political landscape closely resembling that of the old solidly Democratic South, especially in its southeastern corner, known as Little Dixie, where many Southerners settled after the Civil War. When conservatives of the Old South began abandoning the party decades ago, Oklahoma’s Democrats lagged behind the historical trend. Further, the state has relatively small black and Hispanic populations, and so the Democrats did not absorb as many new voters from those groups as in the states of the old Confederacy.

These days Oklahoma Democrats dread running for local office in presidential election years, for fear of being associated with liberal nominees at the top of the ticket.

“Being liberal in Oklahoma, with the exception of a few legislative districts, will not get you elected,” said State Representative Joe Dorman, a conservative Democrat.

Ivan Holmes, chairman of the Oklahoma Democratic Party, said there had been no ballot initiative or outcry on any state or local issue that would explain why conservatives of both parties rejected many Democratic candidates this week.

But, Mr. Holmes said, Mr. Obama was badly hurt in the state by rumors that he was not a Christian, that he sympathized with terrorists and that he would take away people’s firearms, a buzz that could not have helped Democrats down the ticket.

In addition, Senator James M. Inhofe, the Republican incumbent, whipped up anti-liberal sentiment in his successful race against a Democratic challenger, State Senator Andrew Rice, accusing him of being “too liberal for Oklahoma” in opposing a constitutional ban on same-sex marriage and voting against tax cuts.

Another Republican, State Representative Sally Kern, who recently declared that homosexuality was a greater threat to the nation than terrorism, easily won re-election.

But Mr. Gaddie said that perhaps the most important factor in Mr. McCain’s strong showing here was religion. An Edison/Mitofsky exit poll found that more than half of Oklahoma voters identified themselves as evangelical Christians and that a heavy majority of them had voted for Mr. McCain.

Mr. Gaddie, himself a pollster as well as a college professor, said: “A question we always ask in our polls is ‘How often do you attend church services?’ If a Democrat is not going to vote for a Democrat, they are a frequent church attender.”

Another advantage for Mr. McCain was that the state’s economy, based mostly on the oil and gas industry, has been buffered somewhat from the national economic slowdown. Unemployment remains low, the housing market stable.

For all of that, the Democratic Party is far from dead in Oklahoma, especially in the state’s southeastern section, where, despite the social conservatism, many people still talk about the New Deal and revere Franklin D. Roosevelt.

Democrats currently hold not only the governorship but also most other statewide offices. And rural voters often register as Democrats because the party’s primaries for sheriff and county commissioner continue to be more important than the general elections for those posts.

But the blows of the recent past have been unmistakable. For the last 14 years, the state’s two senators, and four of its five representatives, have been Republicans. Riding President Bush’s coattails, Republicans also won control of the Oklahoma House in 2004. Now they have won the State Senate.

“If America voted for change, Oklahoma voted for reform,” State Senator Glenn Coffee, the Republican who is soon to be majority leader, said of Tuesday’s elections. “For a long time you had a single-party state.”

At the Arrow Cafe, several lifelong Democrats said they could remember a time 25 years ago when no one would admit to being a Republican, for fear of being ostracized. These days, few people advertise that they are Democrats, though Democrats outnumber registered Republicans in the county by two to one.

Reflecting on the Oklahoma vote in the presidential election just past, Gordon Belshe, a 67-year-old manufacturer of trailer homes who said he had voted for Mr. Obama, suggested that racism had played a role.

“I still think we had a lot of antiblack votes in this state,” Mr. Belshe said. “I had several people ask me how I could vote for him.”

And Mr. White, the man who had said he could not vote for Mr. Obama because of the abortion issue, also acknowledged that he would not have been comfortable voting for a black candidate. “I’m prejudiced,” he whispered. “This is a problem I have to personally work through.”

In truth, it is impossible to tell if racism was a significant factor in Mr. Obama’s poor showing here. According to a statewide exit poll conducted by Edison/Mitofsky, he got the support of 59 percent of white Democrats in the state, compared with the 84 percent he garnered from white Democrats nationwide. Four years ago, however, Senator John Kerry fared little better among white Oklahoma Democrats, getting only 62 percent.

In any event, most of the older Democrats who stopped by the cafe the other day said Mr. Obama’s race had had nothing to do with their decision to support Mr. McCain.

Mr. Cook, the poultry farmer, said Mr. Obama had been insufficiently religious for him. “He don’t believe like a lot of us do,” he said.

And Bill Straughan, a 70-year-old former civilian employee at nearby Tinker Air Force Base, said Mr. Obama “doesn’t have any real résumé.”

“McCain was a prisoner of war longer than Obama was in the Senate,” Mr. Straughan said. “The last reason I would not vote for him was because he’s black.”

white power?

2008-11-06T18:52:00.001-06:00

My friend just called. She said she that as she was driving to school earlier today, a guy in a truck was tailgating her. Eventually he pulled along beside her, and yelled "WHITE POWER!" out the window.

I've been thinking about how every single county in Oklahoma voted red, and how the state Senate is republican too...just like the House (which I sincerely lament, as the Democratic Senate majority was one thing that gave me hope for positive direction of the state. Have you seen some of the bills that were initiated in the House??)

And then I'm thinking about proposition 8 in California, and how gay marriage shouldn't even be an issue anywhere when there are children starving to death as I write this. And how Proposition 8 is like saying, "We don't like you, gay people." Please....please explain to me in practical terms why same sex marriage is bad.

I'm also thinking about evangelist voters, and single issue voters who hold 24-hour prayer vigils at IHOP for God's Chosen Candidate to win.

So that leads me to this point: I think that our nation's experiencing growing pains, just like it did during the civil rights era. Not just speaking of equality for same-sex couples, but for other things that we need to press ahead on. I think it's time to move forward, and it's evidenced in our choice for president. However, I think that the other half of the country is digging in their heals against progression. I think they're stuck in the old way...they want to keep things the same. I think the country's passionately polarized, and it's causing people to get worked up. Obviously it's causing the skinheads to come out of the closet. And personally, I'd be ashamed to be racist or homophobic, because it reflects a lack of intelligence.

And back to the racist and same sex marriage issue: I'm tired of the intolerance. I'm ready to move on to important issues, and I'm extremely disappointed that the state I live in disagrees.

I'm sorry...I'm tired, so this might not be coming across as I'd like for it to. Should I only write when I'm feeling coherent and cohesive? Whatever.

Yes We Can became YES, WE DID!!!

2008-11-05T01:01:00.002-06:00

I stood in line for an hour to vote this morning, even though the state is saturated with red....

And this evening I went to the watch party at the Skirvin, and it felt so great to be with so many passionate and excited people! A few people ran up to me and asked, "What's going on?" And when I got to tell them, "We won!" They hugged me. I felt so good to have something so important to me in common with so many other good folks. As my friends and I walked to the car, we could hear people cheering on the rooftops around us...it was like a dream!

We went to a local bar to watch Obama's speech. Some guy walked in with a guitar and interrupted with some racist comments. They kicked him out and called the cops.

I can't believe this is happening...change is hard, but the struggle's producing positive fruits right before our eyes!! And when the rest of the world is celebrating with us, it makes me finally feel like I'm part of the world....not living in a country that's against it.

I feel something I've never felt before...love for my country, pride in the people who decided that the country needs to change direction, and I feel that President Obama will restore dignity to the presidency. I have to admit....in the past eight years, I've lost respect for the presidency, but now I'm nearly in tears with pride. I'll be so happy and proud to have Barack Obama as my leader...and to claim my nationality to the rest of the world with pride! :)

It's a Kind of Magic

2008-11-04T10:15:00.001-06:00

This morning was like Christmas morning. It was even more exciting than Christmas morning, because Christmas has become about the children, and while it is fun to watch, I don’t get that same tingly excitement that I got when I was a child.

This morning was like running to the tree, as I went to the polls at 6:50 a.m. and stood in the cold wind at the end of a long line. I didn’t care about the cold. I ignored the polite conversation of the people around me. I was focused.

I realized this morning that I was being given a special gift today. I have been voting since 2000. In 1996, it was Clinton, and the world seemed stable, and politics unimportant. This is the first time as a voting adult that I am voting in an election without W. The first time that I won’t see Bush inexplicably win an election. The first time that I think my vote will lead to real, positive change in the nation.

I blissfully cast my vote today. On NPR, a woman described her voting experience as “enchanting.” There is magic in the air today. Today there is the possibility of the impossible; a premonition of what we can be.

At first I was like :/ and then I LOLd! :D

2008-11-02T18:55:00.003-06:00

1. I'm on facebook, and a friend posted something promoting Obama. One of his friends left the following comment in response:

"U may end up loosing more than ur status if u vote Obama...may end up loosing freedom our forefathers died 4. Hitler wanted change as well."

2. Speaking of LOLing, here's the original (a), and the SNL skit (b):

a.

b.

3. Maybe I heard I read that

4. So there's this guy I've kind of had my eye on for a while. He works at a restaurant that I go to from time to time. I don't know anything about him, except that he's cute. And I have a feeling that he thinks the same about me...maybe(?) So um....what do I do? How do I know if he has a girlfriend or what? I haven't asked a guy out since I was in high school. Help me out, sisters.

You know you're too drunk to post when

2008-11-01T01:19:00.002-05:00

you can't remember your password. So I totally pass the test. It took me a couple of tries to get it, but I made it. I had something important to post. Let's see.

I didn't get much play, (oh yeah, went to a party) but I got drunk, was offered tequila and a ride to another party by a guy in a sombrero, and the host showed me a card trick, while being all over me.

My sister made me stop drinking and come home (bless her little soul) but once I came home, I thought to myself, why can't you have a man who appreciates a drunk bitch, and wants to watch MST3k and cartoons, and wants to fuck.

I'm currently trying to soak up the alcohol and watching space ghost, too numb to feel much of anything.

Too Sexy for my Cat…

2008-10-30T13:02:00.001-05:00

So what makes a girl Sexy? Obviously beauty is in the eye of the beholder so if the only thing that gets your freak on is big feet or people three feet tall or shorter, well, then that narrows things down for you. But for the vast majority of us who don’t limit our freak, there is so much beauty in the world.

Lots of studies say that facial symmetry makes a person beautiful. And for whatever reason lots of people prefer blonds and curly hair. And of course other studies say that men prefer big boobs, clear skin and a certain hip to waist ration. (Was the Barbie Doll really made for little girls?) But I’ve notice that in a first impression none of these things come to my mind. I find, on first impressions, it’s the way she carries herself. How does she hold her chest? And it does matter the size of her tatas, if they’re big and she’s pushing them out, it’s annoying, but if they’re petite, she can get away with that. Does she have a badonka-donk? And what is she doing with it? Hiding it or squishing it into pants that are two sizes too tight? There is nothing more striking then to see a woman who’s clothes fit, who knows she looks good, who carries herself well, who commands the space around her. And I’ve seen and admired these women in ever size, shape, color and nationality. I want to be that woman! She is so sexy, so hot! I bow down to her!!!

Obama's closing arguments

2008-10-28T12:12:00.002-05:00

One week.

After decades of broken politics in Washington, eight years of
failed policies from George Bush, and twenty-one months of a campaign that has
taken us from the rocky coast of Maine to the sunshine of California, we are one
week away from change in America.

In one week, you can turn the page on
policies that have put the greed and irresponsibility of Wall Street before the
hard work and sacrifice of folks on Main Street.

In one week, you can choose
policies that invest in our middle-class, create new jobs, and grow this economy
from the bottom-up so that everyone has a chance to succeed; from the CEO to the
secretary and the janitor; from the factory owner to the men and women who work
on its floor.

In one week, you can put an end to the politics that would
divide a nation just to win an election; that tries to pit region against
region, city against town, Republican against Democrat; that asks us to fear at
a time when we need hope.

In one week, at this defining moment in history,
you can give this country the change we need.

We began this journey in the depths of winter nearly two years ago, on the steps of the Old State Capitol in Springfield, Illinois. Back then, we didn't have much money or many endorsements. We weren't given much of a chance by the polls or the
pundits, and we knew how steep our climb would be.
But I also knew this. I knew that the size of our challenges had outgrown the smallness of our politics. I believed that Democrats and Republicans and Americans of every political stripe were hungry for new ideas, new leadership, and a new kind
of politics – one that favors common sense over ideology; one that focuses on
those values and ideals we hold in common as Americans.
Most of all, I believed in your ability to make change happen. I knew that the American people were a decent, generous people who are willing to work hard and sacrifice for future generations. And I was convinced that when we come together,
our voices are more powerful than the most entrenched lobbyists, or the most
vicious political attacks, or the full force of a status quo in Washington that
wants to keep things just the way they are.
full transcript

Motherhood Blahs

2008-10-28T09:07:00.000-05:00

So the economy sucks. I think we’re all aware of this. And even though gas prices have fallen suspiciously low (considering there is a presidential election next week), I’m hurting. Even working two jobs, I’m having trouble providing for the family.

They need clothes and jackets and shoes, and hoodies. Hoodies are very important. Lora Mae gave me a nice, new hoodie sweater, so I’m good on the hoodie front. I like it because it is smaller than the other one so it’s a lot closer to fitting, plus it’s a blue that is really close to the blue of my eyes. See, hoodies are very distracting and necessary items.

I would like to buy myself some new clothes and jackets and shoes, but I don’t see that in my future. Most of my clothes don’t fit. Most of my clothes are given to me by other people. Today, the only thing I’m wearing that I bought are my shoes (and my underthings. No one gives me those.)

I feel like I look like typical mom in tattered sweaters, tennis shoes and jeans that bag around the ass. So not attractive. I want to cut off my hair again. I had a dream that I was cutting it myself and it was very satisfying, but I was having the thought that I probably shouldn’t do that before Cotton Candy’s wedding.

I guess this post has kind of veered from the original focus, but it is clear in my mind; a lot of women I know, especially mothers, are suffering from the downturn in the economy. It may seem superficial, but there is a lot of sacrifice to taking care of other people, and even though people always tell mothers that they have to take care of themselves too, most of us will forgo what they want (and sometimes what they need) in order to take care of our babies.

Freeze Frame

2008-10-24T09:09:00.000-05:00

As I was falling asleep last night, I was remembering one of my happiest memories of adulthood. It was like a moment frozen in time, and if I were a better artist, I would be compelled to draw it.

We were in a small dorm room, with the compulsory cinderblock walls and linoleum tile floor. There was little decoration in the room, a mattress on the floor; and a student’s desk and chair. The effect is institutional, as I suppose is the intent. I was sitting in the desk chair, long blonde hair down and a little messy, with my legs stretched out in front of me, crossed at the ankle and resting on the mattress. I was wearing sheer black panties and a black button-up blouse, only buttoned once over my breasts, for false modesty’s sake. I felt positively feline as I smoked a cigarette, my attention focused on the people at my feet.

They sat on the bed, fuzzy from lack of sleep, a night of hard drinking, and really great sex. But in that moment, as sleepy as they were, their attention was entirely focused on me. She watched me with her big brown eyes with a mixture of lust and admiration. She looked coquettish in these kinds of moments; she emanated a teasing, playful kind of heat. She said I was incredibly sexy. She directed this statement to her bedmate, who grinned in response. He has always looked at me in that way; a look that seems to suggest that I’m amusing him at the same time that I’m arousing him. I liked that look. He was relaxed, and he seemed surrounded by sensual energy.

I sat there smoking, inviting the looks, inviting their desire, enjoying being loved by both of them. All these years later, I find myself wondering—why didn’t I climb back into bed?

Somebody's Got a Case of the Tuesdays

2008-10-21T11:24:00.001-05:00

Recently, thoughts of running away have been strong, thinking about being on a beach somewhere feeling the sun on my face, or in some remote cottage in Ireland living a simple life instead of at a noisy gas station in the Midwest, surrounded by people who I can’t seem to relate to while ambulances and police cars scream past.

I’d like to leave; skip leaving the time zone, and have one of those time jumps like in Star Trek when the holodeck malfunctions and they are stuck in some Film Noir detective story. I want to exist in a science fiction reality where everything is new and different, and they have whole planets devoted to pleasure instead of a world where pleasure is most often difficult to come by, and tempered by pain.

I want to live in a fantasy world, where I am the Chosen One, and despite my deceptively simple nature, am destined to save the world. I want to struggle to complete impossible things and see impossible things happen around me; I want to develop enduring bonds to other people as we complete Herculean tasks, instead of being isolated in a cubicle to make money for some old guys with lots of money to begin with.

Bacheloretteing

2008-10-20T15:47:00.000-05:00

So as the bachelorette in the party you get to do all kinds of fun things like be spanked by strangers and have them find tiny pieces of paper on your person. You also have strangers buy you shots, it is quite a bit of fun. I had 2 couples buy me a shot and wish me well, a few gentleman and one rather biter Betsy. I think my favorite shot was from the biter Betsy, she was such a good sport! And then of course you have all of your fabulous girlfriends around you WooHooing all night. Somehow that never gets old.

I still say, just randomly on a night, a girl should dress up in Bachelorette garb and head out with a bunch of friends. Really, who would know if you’re not getting married?

But watch out, the shots just get easier and easier to drink, and even with Chasers, my hang over was pretty awesome the next day.

I'll take the rapists for $500, Alex

2008-10-13T13:28:00.001-05:00

Time for another pop culture graphic novel/comic/manga update. This time, I went for some American fare, League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. I saw the movie, thought it was pretty cool, and didn’t understand why the fans of the comic would not like it. After reading volumes I and II, I’ve discovered the problem: not enough rape.

These are the anti-heroes, a collection of drug addicts, killers, rapists, and terrorists and one very mysterious lady. Mina locates and organizes the group, but her place among them is unclear. Until, of course, she is almost raped. And when they talk about her past rape. Then when she has sex with a man about sixty years her senior. Finally, when she actually gets violently raped by the invisible man, it all comes together.

After finishing the two volumes, I finally realized why I was unsettled. For one, it appears that Mina’s character exists to either be raped or fucked, and victimized by the evil Chinese/aliens/vampires/whatever. Also, it becomes clear viewing the series from a distance that every female that is represented in the book is either a whore, or has been/is in the process of/or will be raped. There’s the whorish headmistress of the school for wayward girls, who is barely dressed and decorates the place like a whorehouse; the schoolgirls themselves who are cast as eager participants in their rape by the “holy spirit” (which turns out to be the head rapist, The Invisible Man). The headmistress’ assistant apparently tutors the students in basic S&M, providing a little female-on-female rape. I think that is the sum total of the women in the two volumes, as Mina picks up the slack in the rape scenarios to come.

As it stands at the end of volume two, it appears that Mina is the perfect victim and a complete characterization based on male wish-fulfillment: busty, gorgeous, intelligent, proper, highly sexed, available to even crusty old men, and a victim of the highest degree. By the way, revenge is served on The Invisible Man, as he suffers a horrible and bloody rape by Jekyll to defend Mina’s honor. Aww, isn’t that sweet? I feel like I need a shower

Harrison Bergeron

2008-10-13T09:45:00.000-05:00

Our society seems to be striving to reach perfect equality. Schools, in particular, seem to think that by removing all actions that might lead to a child’s experience of negative emotions is the best option. I don’t know exactly where this theory comes from; it seems absurd to think that a child’s school years can be completely free of jealousy, rejection, anger, and I’m sure a million other things.

Even if this were to be achieved, (through some miracle) at some point these children would become adults, and no longer sheltered by the school system. They would be thrust into a world filled with a range of emotions, and no idea how to react to negative emotion. It seems that it would be more useful to teach children how to deal with negative emotion instead of pretending it doesn’t exist.

As a child, if I had been fitted with handicaps like Harrison Bergeron, I would have never had the opportunity to develop into the person that I am. The idea is quite horrifying: headphones playing loud sounds so that I can’t think better than others, a mask to hide what might be above average looks, weights around my neck to keep me from outperforming others athletically. Expecting everyone to be the same is foolish and potentially dangerous. Sometimes, though, I think of this story and wish that loud sounds would interrupt the incessant thinking.

http://instruct.westvalley.edu/lafave/hb.html

whew...

2008-10-12T20:08:00.001-05:00

Since I was 17, I have always disliked my hometown cops since one tried to grope me while I was working (another story).
This week has been particularly stressful with my father's illness, moving him, etc. so I THOUGHT I would blow off a little steam and head out with my Ponca Friends. They said this band was THE SHIT when they came to Ponca and their local hangout would be PACKED. So, I decided to stay an extra night in town to hangout and have a cocktail or two. I usually don't allow myself to get to too shit faced and I try to keep my beers to under 5 however, tonight was an exception. I had 4 Miller Lites and 4 shots. My shots were 2 test tubs things, 2 Nigerian Nightmares and one Blow Job. Granted, I only bought 1 shot but I am a pretty good size girl and can usually handle my liquor….except for tequila (clothes just fall off), so I figure I am good enough to drive home. So, we leave the bar at 1:20ish. NONE of my friends have gum. S,MF, F, S.
I think…well, Burger King is only a mile away, so I could grab a burger and drive on to my dad's house. Almost, just as good as gum.
I look in my rear view mirror as I am heading down the street and I see an F-ing Hometown Cops. MF, I think to myself. Then, I look on my speedometer and see my 09 sticker for my tag. MF. So, I really need to turn into Burger King. So, I make a right hand turn into Burger King. The cop keeps going down the parking lot towards another store and I calm myself in the BK drive through. THANK GOD it isn't 2:15 and all of the drunks aren't inline! I make my order and I continue to the parking lot. I am still looking through my car for gum. All I see is some sample tooth paste from my cousin from my dental visit a few days ago. So, I rub that on my teeth and tongue for extra precautions! When I pull away from the drive through, I think…well, I guess it is time for the middle of the night picnic in the BK parking lot. I eat my tacos (an impulse buy) and when I finish, I ran to the back of my car and placed the 09 sticker on the car so there wouldn't be the slightest inkling to pull me over.
I looked around the parking lot for the pig in clothes and didn't see any….so, I proceeded on my way to my dad's house.
I made it home without incident…well, except I had a hard time parking….but that is the least of my worries!
Thank goodness for Angels (My Mom, Annie, Lyn, Aunt Anna, Aunt Vera, Uncle Edward) watching over me and keeping the f-ing Pigs away. I am going to Sam's ASAP to pick up a case of gum…just for my car! J
PS-the Burger King tacos are quite tasty and hit the spot! Woo-Woo! Shout out to the Burger King! LOL! They aren't Cotton Candy's magic Chinese food…but, who can compete with MAGIC Chinese food? LOL!

Ha Ha Ha

2008-10-12T12:30:00.004-05:00

no father figure, please...

2008-10-10T20:56:00.002-05:00

If you are over 40, please don’t apply. Yes, I thank you for the complements and I am glad you think I am so cute and funny but I really am not interested. Hey, I think it is great that you are 51 and you want to try to woo this 31 year old woman and have the self esteem to do it...however, I am not looking for a father figure (I have a dad) nor would I like to care for you during the prime of my life when you are drawing social security (again, I take care of my dad)...but, not going to happen. You are old enough to be my dad...not into that...at all nor having step children around my age...
I know it is probably crazy to limit my dating age to under 40 but I can’t help it. Call me crazy, but I need to be with someone who matured around the same time I did and isn’t an overgrown child. If you know about things I did during High School in your 50s, you are an overgrown child.
I wish you the best of luck on your pursuits. I am not going to be one of them.

VPILF

2008-10-09T15:16:00.002-05:00

VPILF

After receiving a text from Lora Mae last week expressing her desire to kick over a Palin sign, I thought about my reactions to the woman. Seeing her on TV, seeing her picture, and especially hearing her voice raises a seemingly irrational rage in me. I thought that was weird. I haven’t had that kind of reaction since my reaction to W in the last election. For a small scale social experiment, I asked a man of my acquaintance with very similar political views if seeing/hearing Palin made him angry. He said no. I know one man doesn’t make a truth, but it seemed to be a telling thing to me.

I guess it is because she’s attractive to the men, or somewhat attractive to them anyway. Men have the strangest ideas about women being attractive. I’ve read men say that Palin is attractive in a in-the-dark, as-long-as-she-doesn’t-speak, squint-your-eyes, from-behind-her-ass-looks-good-enough way. There are those that find the whole package appealing, but I haven’t heard so much of that. To my brain, these qualifiers would seem to lead one to the conclusion that the object of said qualifiers is, in fact, unattractive. But I guess that’s one of the things that separate women from men.

I finally pinpointed the source of my own rage by relating it back to an episode of Futurama. I relate entirely too many real-life situations back to Futurama; I guess it is a testament to the genius of the show, or conversely to my mental state. Remember the episode where Leela became the first female Major League Blurnsball player? She was a pitcher that was discovered because she has no depth perception, and just keeps beaning people in the head. She became a parody of what could have been a major milestone for women. A very talented college female player expresses to Leela how disappointed she is that Leela is giving female players a bad name. Her argument is that by allowing herself to be exploited, she belittles the other women.

This is what Palin is doing. By being the worst qualified vice presidential candidate in recent history, she is prolonging the day that a woman will be vice president, even president. Her use of sexuality to succeed, her consistent use of emotional appeals, her smearing Obama, and her cattiness confirms all the negative stereotypes that have convinced the voting majority that women are unfit to serve in these important positions. No one takes her seriously. We’ve moved from having a strong, capable female candidate for president to a complete mockery of a political figure that allows the public to continue under the impression that strong women are bad and unnatural, and what you can allow is an Eskimo Barbie to go with your White House playset.

Not as focused as I had planned. . .

2008-10-09T13:59:00.003-05:00

Perhaps I don’t understand the ways of Karma. Wasn’t it Earl (of My Name is Earl, not Squidbillies) that said, “Karma is a bitch?” I really like that show. For one, Jason Lee is a great comic actor, but for another, who is not attracted to the idea that if you live your life right you are rewarded. Hell, Eastern religion or Western religion, the idea remains constant. Treat others as you would like to be treated, give and received tenfold, turn the other cheek, the meek inherit the earth.

As a representative of the meek, I have to say I’m not getting anything but a hard time. I’ve tried to practice the basic “do unto others” rules: I’ve been poor my whole life, but I’ve given to others; I have needs that aren’t met, but I put others’ needs before mine; I have not received love, but I’ve given love; I have been neglected, but I’ve sacrificed a great deal to take care of others. Despite continually striving to be a better person, and to be fair and to be giving, I’m in a position where I’m in therapy once a week, on two antidepressants, and once again close to being fired at a job I hate. It doesn’t seem like karmic justice to me.

Do I need to make a list? I know there are people I have wronged. I know I’m not perfect. Maybe I’ve wreaked karmic havoc on myself. I keep thinking of a song in Mel Brooks’ musical The Producers that Nathan Lane sings called “The King of Broadway.” It is very much inspired by Fiddler on the Roof, and describes how life used to be great and now it sucks, and he sings,

“He was saying, when you're down and out, and
everybody thinks you're
finished,
that's the time to stand up on your two feet and shout,/"Who do you
have to fuck to get a break in this town?!"

Truly, who do you have to fuck to get a break in this town.

Karmageddon

2008-10-09T13:59:00.002-05:00

“He was saying, when you're down and out, and
everybody thinks you're
finished,
that's the time to stand up on your two feet and shout,/"Who do you
have to fuck to get a break in this town?!"

Truly, who do you have to fuck to get a break in this town.

Fun!

2008-10-09T12:41:00.002-05:00

http://pa.lindro.me/

Dear BL Letter

2008-10-07T20:32:00.001-05:00

Dear Biggest Loser,
Please, re-figure in your wardrobe...there is no need to see bellies...men or women...there are plenty of shirts/sports bras that cover bellies...it isn't inspirational, it is just gross.
I don’t to look at my belly and I sure as hell don't want see one on TV!
Thanks!
A Viewer!

2008-10-07T20:06:00.001-05:00

After examining my own life, I realized that I am plagued with emotional affairs with men. I am usually attracted to men I can't have or to men who are legally unavailable or unavailable because the love men or racially (because, sadly, between my redneck sister and my dad, no one would find the bodies).
Anyway, my good friend I worked with...we worked together for many years and we shared a lot of dislike for our work as well as the need for security that our employment provided. In order to live vicarasiouly through his wife, I would often volunteer to babysit when they needed a night out. I never really cared for his wife but I remained friendly with her because of him. She was never my typical friend and we both knew this...I even told her one time "you were lucky to find him, not many guys out there like him" when I really meant, "you were lucky to catch anyone, especially him..."
So, when she drove him into the nut house because she thought somehow she could do better than him and it sent him into an emotional tailspin, who did reach out to? Me. As soon as I realized that there was no way in hell I wanted to be saddled to emotional wreck with 4 kids, I told him so. It was the end to my first emotional affair with a married man...
My next emotional affair would have to be with my G@Y. My gay replaced any need for a man I might have...he didn't come out until I had known him for 10 years. In the bottom of my heart, I knew he was gay but I dreamed of him not being gay so I didn’t have to look for a man. In the end, people still thought we were married and he became my gay husband. I would still marry him tomorrow if he needed health insurance or I needed to leave someone money tax free. When we had a fight once, and didn’t speak for 10 months, it felt like I went through a divorce. I was depressed and heartbroken over this...and then he moved. I felt like we broke up all over again. I still have an emotional attachment to him because my friendship for all of these years.
My newest emotional affair is with my friend’s husband. I only knew who he *was* in high school and I know in never spoke to him...not once in high school. I had known his wife since we were 12. At the reunion, I went alone, so latched on to them. We became friendly and he introduced me to the *ungettable* guy from Jr.High. It was exciting to be friends with them because they were happily married and were a lot of fun to party with...then, the inevitable happened. The husband asked me if I wanted to join in their foursome and become a 5th...not a 5th of whiskey…a 5th party in their foursome with another couple! I wonder when they pick up my bar tab or my dinner, if I am on a date? hum...

Avant Garde?

2008-10-07T08:55:00.002-05:00

http://www.flickr.com/explore/panda

Courtesy The Slog: My newest obession.

7-11 and the Ford Fiesta...

2008-10-04T22:28:00.001-05:00

The funny thing that happened was when I went to buy a 6 pack of Bud Select. I was waiting in this hellacious line at 7-11. In the service world, gas stations and fast food might the lowest totem pole of the service industry. While in this long line, I get to observe the service worker in their natural habitat!
One guy is off of his shift at Taco Bell. From what I can tell, he must stop by the 7-11 to flirt with his cousins of the service industry. He said, "I need to wind down after 12 hours at Taco Bell."
The 7-11 girl goes "when did you move? I thought you worked at KFC?”"
Taco Bell Man, "Taco Bell offered me a lot more money. A LOT more money."
7-11 girl goes, "take it, man, take it."
As I was walking out with my 6 pack of Bud Select, I notice the only car left in the parking lot is a tiny white roller-skate, I mean Ford Fiesta. I was thinking that he must be at the top of the food chain because he has one of the most economical paid for cars in the whole Taco Bell parking lot! J
I hope he is saving his money from his new job at Taco Bell and doesn't blow it on the 7-11 girls!

Oktoberfest '07

2008-10-04T22:06:00.002-05:00

Since it is close to Oktoberfest time, I felt it was the *right time* to remember this incident...
Last year, I was invited to go to Oktoberfest with my friends in Tulsa. I ran into people I hadn’t seen in a 100 years or so. I was pumped because I was drinking beer, doing the chicken dance, and enjoying a cool evening with my friends.
When one drinks, beer especially, you have to pee. I left my friend Daniel at the tables to go in search of the port potties. I spot a super short line and needing to pee, I don’t care. I hover anyway, so, anything on the toilet, is irrelevelant. I don’t like to drag anything out on my boots but you know….sometimes that happens.
ANYWAY, it is my turn. Yes, the shortest line does work! :)
So, I run up to the unpleasant porta pottie. As I am exiting, this woman goes “Way to cut off a pregnant woman.” I look around and see no pregnant woman. After a few pitchers of beer with Daniel, I decide I need to ask her what she is talking about. I approach this woman who doesn’t come up to my shoulder. I go “Are you talking to me?” Thinking she must be an idiot to talk shit to me.
She says “you cut off a pregnant woman”
I say “why would a pregnant woman BE at the Oktoberfest? It was my turn” and I turn to walk away.
This woman shouts out “Well, at least I am married.”
Thinking to myself, I wonder what is *relevant* about being married to the porta potties. I walk up to this woman and point to the man next to her, “Is this your husband? “
She nods her head “Yes”.
I say, “Well, you couldn’t pay me to fuck your husband.”
The crowd surrounding us goes “ooohhhh” as I walk away.
FUCK that married bitch and her superior attitude about being married. Why did it matter that she was married and I wasn’t...one of life’s questions to ponder...
At least I got the last word for the 1st time in my life!

My boring race story that I'm excited about

2008-10-04T09:39:00.005-05:00

Let me preface this: i love to run, but my stamina's crappy because I don't eat. If I can get in 1000 calories a day, I'm doing great. So all week, in preparation for this race, I've been eating every meal, rounded meals, and testing out a new energy supplement. Also, due to shin splints, my training's been half-assed over the last few weeks. In fact, I haven't run much over the summer.

This morning my friends showed up at my house and we went to do the Race for the Cure. We couldn't find our team members, so I couldn't get my number or timing chip. My excitement about the race was matched by my disappointment in not being able to compete. I was actually on the verge of tears (yes, I'm a BIG BABY, but like I've said before....if I didn't run, I'd certainly be an alcoholic). I live for races.

After the gun went off, I was still hanging around the cheering section with my spectator friends. They began pushing me to go run despite my lack of a number or anything. I mean, hey....I paid for the race! I hesitated for a couple of minutes, then took the bait.

I got in behind about three trillion walkers and slowly worked my way up to the joggers, then worked my way up to the runners. I was slow and steady (by my standard), but passed several runners. When I saw a camera up ahead I looked at the number of the person next to me so I could still look at my picture online (2055). I finished the race without breaking much of a sweat. The easiest 5K I've ever run...it was like taking a walk. I guess I should've gone for speed, but at this point all i wanted was to finish without stopping. Yay, calorie intake and nutritional fore-thought!!!!!

When I got close to the finish line, I heard my friends yelling my name and cheering...I've never had anyone waiting for me at the finish line, so it made me so happy to see them! After I finished, I was still a little irritated that I didn't have a timing chip (even though I had the best run ever as far as stamina goes). My friend Jennifer came to meet me and said I was "booking it," that her friend who finished about a minute before me, finished at 34 minutes, and she started up front with the runners. That meant I was at 35 minutes, then....but I'd started late. So not only did I finish, but looks like I made good time. I'm very pleased. I accomplished something that I've never accomplished before. And it was so easy......!

Hustle and Flow Chart

2008-10-03T22:05:00.002-05:00

700 Gazillion dollars later. . .

2008-10-03T21:43:00.003-05:00

They passed the thing. I'm pretty sure we're living through the end times. The combination of this bill and Sarah Palin has pushed me over the edge--from caring desperately to WTF. Seriously.

The debate was crazy, Palin recited talking points and was folksy and blah, blah, blah. I couldn't stand her. (By the way Republicans, get that woman a vocal coach pronto)

For them to pass this bill now, after they already voted it down is crazy. The only way they could pass a hugely controversial and high cost bill is to add more controversial and expensive tax earmarks.

If the Republicans win this year, I don't know if I can deal with that. People everywhere will have to form support groups to deal with it. Coffee and lemon bars and tears and support; that's what it will take if I have to live through another four years of Republican mistakes.

On the bright side, McCain stopped campaigning in Michigan; apparently he lost all hope for winning that state. Not just stopped some campaigning, the man stopped everything. That is a good sign.

SWF iso Contentment within Uncertainty

2008-10-01T17:54:00.005-05:00

My boyfriend broke up with me. It's the first break up of my thirties, and the first time I didn't do the breaking up. I'm depressed, but feeling kind of positive. I know this is one of many in a long string of relationship failures, but my psychologist assured me that sure...I've got my issues like anyone else, but i manage them well enough to function in a healthy relationship. She told me to stop dating artists and musicians. Fortunately I have lots of different interests other than art and music.

Sometimes I feel negative, thinking of how past trends might indicate an entire future brimming with disappointments, lonely nights, third-wheelies, breakups, and heartbreaks. But sometimes I feel positive...that there's a great guy out there somewhere for me and I'm going to find him. I don't want to wait forever for it, but you know...I'd like to think it's going to happen someday.

Meanwhile I'm going to try to get over the "grieving process" over losing this last guy (he's a really good guy...he just wasn't ready for a relationship). And meanwhile I'm going to focus on being happy and content, learning to calm my terrible anxieties about dating, let life happen, and enjoy it. You know...stop worrying myself to emotional pieces about relationships.

Meanwhile, I'm going to try to decide what color of tile I want to put in the fireplace.

Oh Lord Won’t you Buy me….

2008-10-01T14:19:00.000-05:00

And if you’re Wall Street Fat Cat, don’t worry, Lord will buy you a Mercedes Benz, and a portfolio package, a 3rd home in the Hamptons, and a golden parachute for when you’ve run your company into the ground. And where does Lord get this money? Why from his loyal subjects the tax payers of course. Silly little peons. They are not worthy of cloud Olympus. They merely toil in the dirt and owe us everything.

Whatever! I’m so sick of this Republican attitude that they’re better then everyone.

How about instead of this trickle down crap which hasn’t worked once, not since Regan’s brain team dreamed it up, why don’t we try some trickle up economics?

For example, lets take a random number, say $700 billion? We could giver all 300 million Americans $2,333.33. Or we could give everyone who pays taxes (16 and above and only contributing tax payers) about $3,500 each. Or we could have a lotto and 700,000 lucky Americans (with the stipulations that their HHI be less than $250,000 per year and only 1 winner per house hold) could win $1million each. I would be happy with any and all of these trickle up rescue packages.

I am NOT for any package that rewards criminal behavior, that takes away the consequences of risk, or subjects innocent people to be responsible for the mistakes of others.

I can’t believe President Bush is asking us to trust him with $700 billion? Seriously? For what? To buy WMDs? Oh no wait that was the last debacle.

And I’m sorry but who is Henry Paulson? Show of hands for anyone who has heard of him before last week? Bueler, Bueler? Right, and we should trust him why? His credentials are what? Like the first FEMA guy? Does he come from Arabian Horse something? Just checking.

And just another thought to ponder, show of hands who knew someone affected by Katrina? Ike? Floods earlier this summer? Yep, me too, I know someone for all those natural disasters. Ok, now show of hands who knows someone who can’t get a car/mortgage/student loan now? Bueler, Bueler? Yeah, that’s what I thought. And again for anyone who knows anyone who is losing their job if this free money to rich people bill doesn’t get passed? Anyone? Bueler, Bueler? Uh huh. Just as I suspected. Ok, so the plan is to spend $700billion on what affecting who and we only spent how much combined on natural disaster? Mmm…hmmm.. I’m just saying.

The Pool Party

2008-09-30T21:45:00.002-05:00

My friends bought a new house with a pool. I thought it was exciting and I was excited when they asked me over to swim. I love to swim in a home pool because I worked at a public pool and saw how gross people can be. They said “come over for some cards and swimming”. So, loaded up my 12 pack of Miller Lite, suit and some towels and headed over to their house.
I knew there would be another couple there to play cards and it would be an overall good time. They were making Jell-O Shots? Who can resist?
We started out playing a few rounds of Asshole and have a few shots. I really want to swim so we all head out to the pool. We take our drinks with us.
As we are swimming, all of us run out of drinks. The boys take turns refilling. The owners were concerned about everyone jumping out of the pool to pee. Next think I know, no one is swimming any longer but all of the couples have paired off. Now, I am alone, the water is getting colder and very aware of the vicious pairing off. So, might as well some water aerobics and stretch out. I swim toward the stairs and I am trying to decide if I should go home or not. All of the couples had retired to the jets around the pool.
I get to stairs and I notice a non alcoholic bottle. After closer examination, I see it is an industrial size bottle of lube. OMG! WTF is that….and why is it on the edge of the pool? One of the guys from the couples swims up and says “Can we have the stairs?”
“yes. It is too cold to stay in the water…” I got up, went inside, put on my cover up and left without saying goodbye.
So, the when I saw them again, the guy who asked for the stairs told me that it was a *test* to see what I would do. It was a test I was happy to fail. Then, he proceeded to tell me that if he had met me first, we would be married. I felt sorrier for my friend for being married to him and thinking that I would not want to be married to him! I knew he was trying to seduce me to become a 5th in their foursome!

hotenoughtoswingwith.com

2008-09-28T21:10:00.003-05:00

Um, yea...so, again, I was approached by a married couple to participate in multiple partner party. Yes, I was invited to be a 5th. Not a 5th of whiskey…a 5th person in a party of already 4 persons. I know I should take it as a compliment…however; I am very icked out over the whole thing. I have known one of the players since I was 12. I cannot believe it. I know after 8 years of being married, 2 kids, a couple of mortgages, your sex life might get dull. BUT, just because I am *single* doesn’t mean I want to participate and spice up your sex life. Thanks. I am glad you guys are so hot for each other and you want other s to share in your *experiences* however, um, yea, I would like to do one-on-one for a while before I tread down that path...But, hey, more power to you if you want to do that...I just don’t need to know or to be invited...but I am flattered that the four of you think I am hot enough to join in and spice it up! LOL! J

Weddings...

2008-09-27T00:15:00.002-05:00

To lighten up the mood...and my views of "the Debate"
I have been to and in a few in my time but one thing I can never understand is why people leave an open ar and a half way decent DJ? I could see sometimes they have a sh!tty a$$ DJ and it is dull. Or, the bar may been too expensive, aka, Gaillardia that had $7 domestic beers, $12 mixed drinks and the sh!ttiest tasting champagne…no chance of me getting drunk there…it should have said BYO-Flask on the invitation.) Anyway, the last 2 weddings I went to this summer had open bars and good DJs. People left after the cake. LEFT. Half of the crowd was gone. I couldn’t believe it. An open bar and a good DJ. Of course, these weren’t my college girls who are half alcoholics and pub crawl for charity…but still. What a waste of a DJ! Just plug in your MP3 player, get a couple dozen cupcakes from Wal-Mart and call it a day.
I will have to say the best wedding I went to was my cousin’s in Europe. The wedding lasted until 7 AM. Don’t worry, I represented the American’s and stayed until 7am. They went through over 150 liters of wine and there were only 50 people in attendance. It was great. The 2 weddings this summer were well planned very well, however, the guests were sh!tty because they left so early!  I know the next one in November in New Orleans will trump all of the ones from this summer.
When I RSVP, I RSVP to have a good time by drinking and dancing where ever I am! LOL!  I should be a professional wedding guest. LOL! OH, and I give a great toast, too. 

Blue in a Red State

2008-09-26T17:57:00.009-05:00

To quote some comments on a blog that's countering disputes over Obama's Christianity:

"The thing I have against him is that he does not believe in the flag. How can you run our country and not believe in the flag. The flag has had many of our nations people's blood spilled over it to preserve it. The moment we elect someone whom does not care about it how can we call ourselves americans."

"Whether he is a Christian or not is inconsequential. He sat for twenty years and listened to Rev. Wright spew out rhetoric, bash America and white people. It wasn't until all of that became public that Obama denounced his allegiance to Rev. Wright. After the Rev. married he and Michelle, and baptized his two children. Would you attend a church for twenty years led by a man you didn't agree with his core principles????"

And a friend's comment on some local events:

"Did you see on the news the other night that some people got their Obama signs vandalized?? The same thing happened to my sister's house. Hers was spray painted and even shot at with a gun. The fact that someone would do such a thing to someone elses property and shoot a gun where people live breaks my heart."

*****************************************************************************

Come on, guys. Calm down. Get your facts straight. And for those of you vandalizing signs, stop. It's silly, and makes you look ridiculous.

For me personally, since I heard about Obama on NPR a few years ago I've really liked him. I was impressed, and that feeling's only grown with time. It's not that I don't like McCain. I admire the guy...he's got an amazing story. But I stronly adhere to Obama's ideals.

The things that I've wanted for this country, for myself and for my little sister and brother have been prohibited for years. It's just been a crescendo of deterioration. Before GWB I trusted the presidency and had respect for the executive branch. Then one day I realized that I automatically assume that everything that comes out of the executive branch has an agenda that I don't trust. I can't help it...it's shirked its own dignity with its persistent opacity.

When government actions or in-actions affect my own personal daily life in ways so frustrating, so negative and sometimes so profoundly, it becomes important to really study these candidates and come to a confident understanding of which one will be the best to "turn the country around," as they say. I don't want my sister to live in a world where I struggled so hard for my dreams, but didn't achieve them. I know my lack of success is due to the affects of the GWB administration's time in office.

When I graduated with my BA, I graduated into the beginnings of a rapidly worsening economy. I was the only one in my family who managed to get a job. My dad, mom, sister and brother...all four adults, and my parents both well educated....they reminded me of the Joads, standing around wondering how to save themselves. I prepared myself to take care of them on my little salary, because they're my family.

I was okay with McCain. I didn't prefer him for president, but he wasn't too awfully bad. But then I saw the RNC.

I think depressing

2008-09-26T08:44:00.001-05:00

Just a minor update, I'm sure it is nothing to worry about. The biggest bank collapse evah happened while we were sleeping last night.

Everybody Panic!

Outrage or Depression?

2008-09-25T22:28:00.005-05:00

Which is the more appropriate response to current events? We've got suspended campaigns, a vice presidential candidate that is giving women a bad name, a huge financial crisis, and the president has ok'd the first deployment of American troops on American soil since the reconstruction. Everything is so fucked up right now, it may be hard to pay attention to all of the travesties happening at once. One has to wonder how we got here. I'm sure the explanation includes "George W. Bush," "power-hungry," and "fucking idiot."

Firstly, we have McCain suspending his campaign due to the financial crisis, blah blah blah. There's a clip out there on the interwebs of David Letterman getting pissed because McCain cancelled on him to go save the country, yet he was on a CBS news show (same network mind you) at the same scheduled time slot. Not incredibly scandalous, but incredibly tacky.

With Video Pwnage

Sarah Palin has now made a fool of herself on two network news shows. She looked foolish on Charles Gibson's program a couple of weeks ago, then I believe it was Katie Couric pwned her just a couple of days ago, both highlighting the fact that she doesn't know shit about national government and policy.

Also With Video Pwnage

Everyone is talking about the financial crisis. People are starting to throw out phrases like "another Great Depression." I think we can all agree that we don't want to be there. It's getting frightening, but I think most everyone agrees that giving a whole bunch of money the government has to a bunch of big businesses is not a plan the common people can get behind. We've been getting screwed by these businesses for years. Their interests always come first. I understand that the market is in a lot of trouble right now, but I feel that other options should be explored, and they should have started at the first hint of trouble, as opposed to rushing an idea through Congress at the last minute, to look like they've got the situation under control. That's the way that chimp President gets what he wants. There is even talk of this fix giving even more power to the executive branch. This is not a good thing, and if it works out like they're speculating, will change the face of capitalism.

The Voice of Reason

I, for one, Welcome Our New Executive Branch Overlords

Finally, we have a deployment of troops within the United States. Their mission, according to an article in an Army publication, has a whole lot to do with riot and crowd control. With the way things have been going, this makes me incredibly nervous. Ok, paranoid. I want to know what is going to happen that we don't know about yet that is going to cause a mass riot in the US. Even a few years ago, that would have seemed impossible. Now, I'm not so sure.

Read the Scary Stuff Here

I'm going to go curl up with some pop culture, and hope it all goes away. (Isn't that how we all deal with this?)

More Info on the Nerdgasm Experiment

2008-09-24T12:34:00.002-05:00

I have more information to share. When attempting to teach a group of highly geeky men, perhaps even qualified as ultra-nerd, showing portions of Mystery Science Theatre 3000 and Futurama is a recipe for disaster. After the viewing of said clips, they were bouncing off the walls like twelve year olds on a pixie stick binge at an arcade. It was like they were junkies freebasing. They probably came down about an hour later, rocking themselves, just looking for another hit. They just need another hit, man. Ah, the highs and lows of education.

Sacks...

2008-09-22T19:24:00.001-05:00

Bridesmaid dresses are a funny thing. I am on my 3rd one from David's Bridal. Their Sizes have been consistent. However, the number in the back of the dress does not make me feel any better about the consistency.
Usually, I put on a size 24 and it dangles on me...if not falls off onto the floor. But not with a David's Bridal...Oh, no. Not a chance. I don't know if they purposely cut their clothes small but they are horrible. I don't know how really big girls with FUPA fit into anything in there! I feel like I am fairly proportionate. However, I guess only sticks can wear Dave's clothes. I was hoping, just hoping, after my weight lifting class, the dress would hang on my ass like a burlap sack...but (sigh!), David's Bridal did not make that a reality.
I will continue to shop at Fat Girl Heaven (Lane Bryant) and buy my 14/16s in there...LOL!

Coraline

2008-09-22T11:58:00.002-05:00

In other animation/manga/graphic novel news, I spent some time this weekend with Neil Gaiman’s Coraline. I recommend Chutah read it, if she has not already. It was marked as suitable for ages 8 and up, but it scared me. People had black button eyes. Which sounds kind of cute, like teddy bears, but was freaky in the extreme. It was grotesque and ghoulish and creepy, but also really cool.

It was a dark Alice in Wonderland that grants the power to Alice. There was a strength of will to the main character that was something integral to herself, not found from the situation or other people. The art was very different than what I have experienced, but I usually am reading something Japanese or derivative. It was very Western, somewhat realistic with loose, flowing lines. The colors were usually subtle, but strong colors were used to emphasis, as in Death Note.

I looked for the second volume of Sandman, but my library is pretty spotty on the graphic novels. I’m thankful that they have them at all. I really enjoy the complexity of the graphic novels; the art and story combine to make a lush and intellectually stimulating experience.

Death Note

2008-09-22T11:31:00.002-05:00

I watched the first disc of Death Note this weekend. So delicious. I had not watched it to this point because of the anime's style. The shinigami (death god) is drawn in an alarming fashion. Of course, that makes sense for a death god. You wouldn't expect and death god to be all warm and fuzzy. That might be an interesting choice as well, but contrary to this anime’s point.

Basically, the death god is bored. He's stuck in death god world with nothing to do, everyone is bored and spends eternity playing dice. He doesn’t want to anymore, so he takes his death note and drops it in the human world. Once it is dropped and picked up by a human, he is bound to the human until he loses the book, or until he dies. He thinks humans are fascinating.

The book is found by an extremely intelligent high school student named Light. He reads the instructions, and believes the book is a prank. As a test, however, he writes the name of a criminal into the book, and the criminal dies. He dismisses that as a fluke, a coincidence. He tests it again on another criminal, and this criminal dies. He decides the book is real, and sets out to systematically rid the world of all evil people. Noble, right? In the first episode he reveals to the death god that his dream is to create a utopia and rule over it as a god.

It was shocking and disturbing. Instead of taking the traditional superhero approach, the hero is an incredibly complicated and flawed individual who may or may not have pure motives, or who may or may not be doing a good thing. His feverish commitment to the destruction and resurrection of the current reality is fascinating. And once you get used to the animation style, the animation is really quite stunning. The characters are beautifully drawn, the death god is striking in his otherness, and certain elements integral to the story or as symbols are highlighted through the use of gorgeous color. I can’t wait for more.

(It was an anime weekend, with Death Note, Bleach vol. 3, and reading Fruits Basket vol. 17)

And they say there are no good men...

2008-09-21T15:23:00.001-05:00

I WONDER WHY HE'S STILL SINGLE. -A

Je suis Henri

2008-09-21T15:22:00.000-05:00

Pop

2008-09-20T15:34:00.003-05:00

I lost my Pop almost two years ago. Every once in a while I get the urge to call him, but then quickly remember that I can't call him...he's not here anymore. He's no where. It's like a little skewer sticking in my heart each time.

Happy Talk Like A Pirate Day!

2008-09-19T21:13:00.003-05:00

In honor of talk like a pirate day, I've written a seafaring tale featuring four fearless, lusty lady pirates and their lovely assistant BP

Captain Mary Bonney--Cotton Candy

Iron Morgan Roberts --Loramae

Dirty Charity Bonney--Chutah

Iron Tom Kidd--BP

Mad Bess Bonney--Me

It had been another disappointin' tide fer Mad Bess Bonney. All tide, pushin' papers around a desk an' lookin' fer a wee excitement. Lucky fer th' lass', Captain Mary Bonney had plans that be beyond excitin'. Captain Mary, clad in a mixture o' pink lace an' black leather, an' th' sexiest boots seen on this side o' th' Mississippi, waited abroadside fer Mad Bess t' be released from th' hellish prison. As Mad Bess emerged, she saw Captain Mary waitin', an' knew thar be an adventure t' be had.

They be meetin' up wi' Iron Morgan Roberts an' Dirty Charity Bonney fer a nighttime raid. Iron Tom Kidd had been drafted t' do th' grunt work fer th' lasses. They met Iron Morgan an' Dirty Charity in th' darkness abroadside a house in a deserted neighborhood. Iron Morgan be beautiful as ever, wi' long flowin' curls, wearin' a sexy yet burglary appropriate black lace tank an' streamlined black britches. Dirty Charity were comfortably dressed in clothes that accentuated th' lass' lithe body--a dark grey tank covered wi' a black sweater an' deep plum yoga britches. They be both excited, one good eye twinklin', ready fer action.

They sailed' around th' aft o' th' house, 'ere they found Iron Tom waitin' wi' long sufferin' patience. He be outwardly calm, but t' them that knew th' lad's well, thar be jus' a touch o' expression that found th' whole endeavor annoyin', amusin', an' dangerous all at th' same time. Only th' pull o' this many gorgeous lasses would make th' lad's take part in somethin' like this.

In low voices, they sailed' o'er th' plan. Iron Morgan an' Captain Bonney positioned they's self at th' aft door, ready t' strike in case th' plan sailed' awry. Dirty Charity an' Mad Bess crept along th' aft o' th' house wi' Mad Tom, lookin' fer revenge. An' they found 't. 't be a planter, about medium sized, an' a deep blue. 't be beautiful. Dirty Charity fell t' th' lass' knees an' wept t' be seein' 't. "Me baby," she spake, "we`ll nerebe apart again." Mad Bess pulled th' lass' from th' planter, an' instructed Iron Tom t' carry th' heavy pot away t' th' aft o' Captain Mary`s car.

As we made our way ou' o' th' aft yard, th' evil landlady appeared. Quick as a shot, Iron Morgan held a gun t' th' bitches' aft while Captain Mary taunted th' bitch'. Fer the'r amusement, they made th' lass' t' th' chicken dance, while they all laughed an' pointed. They tied th' bitch' t' th' bitchs' fore porch post, an' then called th' police t' report a crazy bitch performin' an outlandish autoerotic bondage display in th' bitchs' fore yard.

They yelled in triumph as they drove off wi' th' recovered loot, feelin' vindicated an' hearin' th' sirens approachin' in th' distance. They immediately began plans fer the'r next adventure fer th' good o' vixens everywhere.

Funny

2008-09-17T22:13:00.006-05:00

I just realized that Cotton Candy does not have an *official* advanced degree like the rest of the bloggers - however, her advanced math classes negate any reason she should not blog with us or blog about it. She just has to ride the short bus on Pub Crawls from now on...LOL! :) I still love *pink* Cotton Candy!

Retards = Dumbass Voters

2008-09-17T22:13:00.004-05:00

You know why I support Obama? Because has common sense. WTF do these candidates think they are stopping science? When I talk about stopping science, I am talking about Stem Cell Research. Only a true retard would *stop* this kind of advancement. All I know that if someone who studies cells thinks this can treat cancer, diabetes or dementia, I am all for it.
If one more asshole at work, who isn’t worth $8 an hour, let alone the $40 they are paid, says the “the Democrats are going to raise taxes…” Well, I take my fair share of tax screwing since I don’t have any dependants but I hope each one of these retards who use this argument spend one whole day, hell, maybe a WHOLE MONTH taking care of a person who truly suffers from any disease that stem cell research would benefit. Then, take on the bills the person suffering from disease with the all of this money they get to keep from not taxing it and pay what their pathetic insurance has left them with.
I hope people truly take issues into account and not their pocket book when they make their mark on the ballots this November. OH, and none of the retards know what day the election is held.

Dumbass.

2008-09-17T22:13:00.003-05:00

On the news tonight, some girl is upset because someone stole her laptop out of her unlocked Jeep Grand Cherokee at a gas station. Well, dumbass, lock your door at the gas station. Sorry that you are so irresponsible to lock your doors with a valuable asset inside. I am surprised they didn't take your purse, your identity or your car.

No one *deserves* to get robbed...however, a tiny, tiny bit of common sense would have benefited you… The sad thing is that I bet your Jeep Grand Cherokee has a remote entry….just on click and you would have saved your laptop…